It's Beginning to Get Me
by end-of-rainbow
Summary: Post finale. Meredith makes her pick, Derek has to choose, Addison has to decide. Derek or Finn, Meredith or Addison, stay or leave. Addek.
1. Hundred

After much pestering from Jess and Kendel, here it is. It's post finale and I'm trying to take a different route than other post finale fics that's already out. I'm an Addek, so I'd like to think that this story is going to be Addek, but we'll see. This is titled "It's Beginning to Get Me" from a song by Snow Patrol. Thank you to Jess and Kendel, for the suggestions and um...the yellings...

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the GA characters, they're all the Shonda's, and they just like to run in my mind with their crazy lives. So here's the first chapter:

**Hundred**

_The how I can't recall  
But I'm staring at what once was the wall  
Separating east and west  
Now they meet amidst the broad daylight  
So this is where you are, and this is where I am  
Somewhere between unsure and a hundred _

_And who's to say it's wrong  
And who's to say that it's not right  
Where we should be for now  
So this is where you are, and this is where I am  
So this is where you are, and this is where I've been  
Somewhere between unsure and a hundred_

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Meredith looked at the two men calling her name. _Derek. Finn_.

She was not over Derek, but Finn could make her get over Derek. _Does she want to be over Derek? _

Finn had plans. Derek had a wife, Addison. _Crap, there is still Addison..._

Will Derek leave Addison if she left Finn now? _We just had sex. He's not over me either, of course he will leave Addison._

"Finn, uh... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I can't go home with you..." She watched his face fell as she said the words.

"Oh..." There was a pause before Finn looked at Derek, then back at her. "You were never just friends, were you? I get it." He nodded to himself.

"I am so sorry, Finn, I..." Before she could finish, Finn walked passed her and made his way out.

She closed her eyes. _God, what am I doing..._

She turned to face Derek. "What does this mean?"

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_Something happened. Him and her. _That look on his face, she couldn't read him, he wouldn't look at her. She couldn't put a finger on what exactly, but something did happen._ Something..._ She pulled out of her thoughts when she heard Richard called her name. They were walking back to the prom to tell the kids the night was over.

"Adele and I will take care of this. Why don't you and Derek just head home, it's going to be quite a day tomorrow."

_Indeed. _"Okay. Good night, Richard."

She didn't even try to stay to help him, she just wanted to get out of there. _Derek is already on his way home probably_, she thought as she walked through the parking lot. They took separate cars tonight because she got called to the hospital when they were at Finn's. It was then she saw his car. _Is he waiting for me so we could drive home together? Do I go back inside to find him? Wait... Is he... Is he even coming home?_

She brushed out the millions questions running through her mind and focused on driving, she didn't want to think about it.

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Finn shook his head in disbelief at what Meredith said. She wasn't coming with him and at first he couldn't undertsand why. Then it dawned on him that Derek was still standing there. Derek had called Meredith's name, he was waiting for her, just like he was. Something happened between Meredith and Derek, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know what it was.

"Oh..." He paused before helooked at Derek, then back at her. "You were never just friends, were you? I get it." He nodded to himself and he walked out before Meredith could finish her next sentence.

He couldn't believe what just happened. He was letting another woman into his life after Liz's death, and she didn't choose him. He opened his heart too fast, he made plans too fast, and so he lost her too fast.He should've known better. _What married guy shared a dog with a female friend? Of course they were not just friends. _

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_Did she just said what I thought she said? _Derek just stood there and watched as Meredith told Finn. Finn looked at him and Derek looked down to avoid his gaze. He flinched at Finn's words. _I am sorry, too, Finn, I am so sorry. _He saw Finn's shoes stepped away from where they were standing, and he walked toward Meredith when she asked him the question he had asked he earlier. To be honest, he didn't know what this meant.

"I'm not going home with Finn. He left. And I, most likely, will never see him again. What does this mean for us, Derek?" Meredith asked, he could feel her searching his face for an answer.

"I..." He didn't have a definite answer. "I need some time to sort things out with Addison, to explain to her." He didn't know what else to say.

"Time...You need time... Of course, okay..." Meredith stammered. "How much time?" She asked.

"I don't know... A couple of days...maybe... Look, why don't I take you home." Derek offered, it's the least he can do for now.

"No. No... I can drive myself. Why don't you just go back. Maybe try to talk to Addison or something... I'll see you tomorrow. Good night, Derek." With that she turned around and left.

Derek made his way out of the hospital and figured Addison already made her way back to the trailer when he didn't see her car in the parking lot. He knew he had to talk to Addison, but he didn't even know where to begin. A couple of days to explain to Addison, to end their twelve years of marriage, to let go of the woman who had been with him and loved him for the last fifteen years. _I'm leaving Addison. Could I finally leave her this time? _--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Addison sat on the bed, still dressed in her gown, with her head in her hands. _They had a talk at the Prom, he must have decided to be with Meredith. They kissed. They...? No... _She shook her head at the possibility. Derek would never do that, to turn around and do the same thing she did. She wanted to ask him what happened tonight, but how she didn't know. _Maybe I don't have to, he'll tell me he wants out and that'll be the end of us. Get ready to pack, Addison... _

She drew in a long breath and looked around the trailer. _I'm finally leaving this place. _She let out a sigh and made her way to the bathroom to change. _Maybe...maybe not..._

She heard his car as she was finishing up and walked out of the bathroom as she heard the door opened. _Here we go... _

"Hey."

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	2. OnOff

My summer class is ending this week, so I'm bombarded with school works, hence it took a while before I could write this. Anyway, this chapter is called On/Off, a song by Snow Patrol.

**On/Off**

_I couldn't believe what I was seeing  
Faces all screwed up like what I'd done  
I didn't mean to hurt you so much  
I knew it would hurt you but not like this  
We all make a mess from time to time dear  
But it'll take me a lifetime to get this cleared _

_Running away seemed like the easy  
Thing to do because I wanted time  
To put a smile back on my dour face _

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"Hey" Derek greeted back.

"Quite the night, huh..." Addison replied, trying to start the conversation, as nervous as she was.

"Yeah." Derek asked as he started changing in the bedroom.

Addison hung her dress and tried to busy herself before she dared to ask her next question. "How... How was your patient?"

"What?"

"On the dance floor... You...you said you needed to check on a patient." She stood next to her side of the bed, arms crossed, bracing herself for what he might said next.

"Oh... He's good, uh...his wife was there. She asked why I was dressed up...and why there were decorations. Um, she saw them when she came in." He continued talking without looking at Addison. "And uh, I told them about the prom... _Then_ they started talking about their proms, so I got caught up with that." Derek glanced over to his wife before making his way to the bathroom. "I'm sorry I left you there, I hope you had a good time."

_Liar._ "It wasn't bad. I, um... I talked with Finn while you were gone because Meredith... She was gone, too." _There, now tell me, Derek_... Addison sat on the bed, she didn't know if she could stand up for this. She took deep breaths to calm herself before Derek re-emerged from the bathroom, toothbrush in hand.

"Really, huh. She must have been with Izzie then...with the others, too, most likely." Derek shrugged. "Can you believe Izzie cut the LVAD wire and quit the program just like that?" He went back to the bathroom.

_That's it?_ Addison leaned back on the pillows, stunned, before she mustered a response. "Well, the thing you do for love... The thing you do and sacrifice to keep the one you love around."

Addison slipped under the cover with her back facing Derek's side and closed her eyes. _He won't say anything tonight..._ She wanted to scream and she wanted to cry, but she couldn't. _Not now, not tonight._ Tonight, she can't think straight with all of these emotions rushing in, she needed more time. Addison willed herself to sleep, hoping this was all just a dream when she woke up in the morning.  
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_She knew I just lied._ Derek leaned agaisnt the sink with his eyes closed, guilt and shame washing over him. He had a feeling that Addison had suspected something when she mentioned Meredith being gone, too. _Addie knows me better than anyone else._ After he finished washing up, he got out of the bathroom and remained standing at the doorway to bedroom, watching Addison asleep. His wife of almost twelve years; he had hurt her so much, he realized that now. _How did we get here?_

Derek went to the kitchen cabinet, searching for a glass and a bottle of Scotch, and sat in the kitchen area, much like Addison did the night of Mark's arrival in Seattle. Faced with the thought of ending Derek and Addison, he started to think about the beginning of them. Those days in medical school, where he first met her, chased her, took her on their first date, where their relationship had begun. Those days during their internship and residency, when he proposed and she said 'yes', when he married her and they said 'I do'. Those days when they had finally become attendings and on their way to become the best, when he started to spend more time in the OR then with her, hence her spending more time with Mark than him. He continued to nurse his glass of Scotch. _Did she feel like this when I found her with Mark?_ Guilt and shame and failure, all crashing in with the mistakes he realized he'd made, the things he wished he should've done, or should've not done.

He had to tell her somehow, because Meredith was waiting. Meredith, whom he told his wife he loved, whom he chased after choosing his wife, whom he just had sex with, for what reason he wasn't sure. _Love, lust, jealousy?_ He was happy with Meredith, the anger and hurt he felt with Addie weren't there when he was with her. He could start over in a new relationship that didn't require him to forgive, that didn't have a burden of hurt and betrayal, that seemed so blissful, much like his and Addison's in the earlier days. But whether or not all of that gave him enough of a reason to let go Addison, he didn't know. _I could've ended this tonight...if I really want to..._  
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Meredith walked into her house to find Callie, already dresssed down, going up the stairs with a glass of water in her hand.

"Izzie's already upstairs?" Stupid question to ask, but she needed something to say.

"Yes." She answered cooly. "George and Alex are with her." Callie shot her a repulsed look and Meredith knew she deserved it.

"Listen, Callie...about what you saw. I..." Meredith took a step back when Callie took a step down on the stairs.

"I don't wanna hear it, and I have nothing to say to you." With that she turned around and walked back upstairs.

Meredith followed her upstairs, where George and Alex were waiting nervously outside the bathroom, worrying whether or not Izzie had been in there too long. Izzie finally came out, dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a shirt. She looked at them as she started walking to her room. "I'm fine. You all should just go. I'm fine." Callie offered the glass of water, Izzie took it, then she closed her bedroom door and locked it. After looking at each other, all four of them dispersed and went their own way.

Meredith threw herself back on her bed, not bothering to change out of her dress. She didn't come home with Finn and Derek didn't come home with her. _Derek...he just needs time to end things with Addison._ She knew what she did was wrong, she shouldn't had sex with Derek, but it already happened and she can't go back. She didn't know how to face Addison tomorrow, or the days after that, with the guilt she felt. She knew it was selfish of her to want a man to leave his wife, but she loved him and he loved her. She kept telling herself over and over that this time it was different, this time Derek wanted her and wanted them to be together. _I just need to wait a couple of days.  
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The next morning, Derek woke up without Addison in the trailer. When he saw that her belongings were still there, he found himself feeling relieved. _She just went to work..._ He was glad he hadn't seen Addison or Meredith since he got to the hospital, he wasn't planning on crossing path with any of them anytime soon. With a patient's file in hands, he decided to head to an exam room to prep himself before he had to see the patient in fifteen minutes.

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Addison left to work early that morning without waiting on Derek, she didn't want to deal with him yet. As she walked in the hallway, she heard a simultaneous beeping of pagers behind her. Before she could turn around, a group of interns ran past her frantically, one in particular bumped into her and shoved her to the side. She stopped just in time before she hit a door, but the contents of the folder she was carrying were scattered on the floor.

"Damn, those interns!" She let out before picking up her files.  
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Dr. Callie Torres was not who Derek expected to see when he walked into the exam room, in fact he didn't expect to see anyone there.

"I'm just finishing it up, I'll be out of here in a second." She gave him that look she gave him and Meredith last night. Disgust, and he deserved it, he knew.

He stepped fruther into the room. "Look, Dr. Torres, about last night..." Before he could finish, she held up her hand.

"I've said this and I'm telling this to you now. I don't want to hear it, and I have nothing to say you." She gathered her things and made her way toward the door.

"Please, just... Don't say anything to Addison!" He blurted out, not realizing he had raised his voice.

"You're planning to tell your wife, I see..." Callie raised her eyebrow. Her eyes then found something under the exam table and she bent down to pick it up..

"Perhaps, you'd like to keep this as a souvenir." Derek had now realized that they were in the same exam room as last night.

And as Callie tossed him the black pantie, the door to the exam room opened, the two doctors caught in surprise.

"You and...and _her_!" Addison stood at the door, with her mouth agape and head shaking in disbelief.

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	3. Broken

_**Broken **_

_Without you I was broken  
But I'd rather be broke down with you by my side  
Without you I was broken  
But I'd rather be broke down with you by my side_

_I didn't know what I was looking for  
So I didn't know what I'd find  
I didn't know what I was missing  
With everything in the past  
Fading faster and faster until it was gone  
Found out I was losing so much more than I knew all along_

_Without you I was broken  
But I'd rather be broke down with you by my side_

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"How the hell did I get into this..." Callie groaned in frustration.

"You know, I suspected something happened last night, but I've never thought it was with her." Addison glanced at the black panties in Derek's hand, then at Callie.

"No! Addison, this is not what it looked like..." Derek stepped toward the door to Addison, throwing the panties in the trash, but Addison moved away to avoid him. "It's not what you think..."

"Really, Derek? Because it looked like you're well on your way up the hospital ladder. First an intern, now a resident. Is an attending next on your list of 'women to screw to get back at Addison'?"

"Okay, I don't belong in this mess and I don't plan on being in it much longer. Either you stop being a coward and tell her the truth, or I do." Callie spoke up, glaring at Derek.

Addison turned to him. "Derek?"

"It... It wasn't her... I'm so sorry, Addie...I did something I shouldn't have, something very wrong..." He saw Addison stood there struggling to keep herself together as she waited for what he would say next.

"Last night, I didn't see a patient. I... I followed Meredith into this room, she was angry and telling me to stop looking at her and following her... And I don't know what came into me…I kissed her and we..." Derek took a deep breath. "We had sex." And he never saw anyone looked so hurt in his life.

"Dr. Torres walked in afterward. She was looking for Meredith about Izzie. Addison, I'm so sorry..."

Addison looked at Callie. "Dr. Torres, I apologize. I am very sorry I assumed you we involved in this. I'm really sorry for what I've said."

Callie nodded. "Yeah, okay."

"Move away from the door, Derek." He did. Addison walked out without one look at him and Derek didn't go after her.

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Dr. Bailey stood in front her four remaining suck ups, one hand on her hip, shooting death glares to the fidgeting interns.

"Listen up! What happened last night provides this hospital with a lifetime supply of gossips, everyone is already talking and wondering about what is none of their business. But all four of you will keep your mouths shut! I don't care who's getting into whose pants, you will keep your personal feelings and life out of work, and that means not a single complain about who you're assigned to. After the trouble you got yourself into, you better be on your best behaviors. Understood!"

Four "yes" were heard immediately.

"Karev, you're still with Montgomery-Shepherd. You are not to trade cases with anyone nor are you to be all pissy about it; you will respect your boss, that goes for the rest of you as well. Yang, you're with Shepherd. Grey, you're with Torres. O'Malley, you're with me. Now, go learn to save lives. And while you're at it, try doing more sucking up and less stupid things!"

The three interns scurried to their assignments while George tailed Bailey to the ER.

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Meredith found Callie in a room, studying a slew of X-ray slides on the screen. "Hey, I uh...I'm with you today." No answer from Callie.

"I know you said you don't wanna hear anything. So I won't say anything to you. I mean, except about work...of course I'll talk to you about work. We're at work, I'm doing my job...with you today..." Meredith rambled, not a word from Callie still.

_Silent treatment, great_. Meredith looked at the X-rays. "Broken patella, torn ligaments... What happened? Do you want me to get an OR ready? And a consent form? Anything?" _This is me sucking up..._

Callie finally glanced at her. "Freak accident. Wife walked in on him with another woman, he tried to chase her, she threw things at him. He tripped on some furnitures, fell down the stairs, landed on a weird angle."

"Right." She sighed. "Look, last night wasn't supposed to happen. You get to judge me and you get to be pissed off at me, fine. But, please, can we just get on work like normal?"

"Normal, huh! Normal for you because his wife didn't assume you were the one screwing with her husband last night." Meredith can feel the aggravation in Callie's voice but she was confused.

"Wait, what!"

"I was in the exam room finishing up, when Derek came in. I saw your panties under the exam table and Addison walked in and saw me threw it at him. She thought it as me and Derek cleared things up."

"Addison knew... Oh God, she knew..." She didn't expect Addison to know this soon.

"Yeah, she knew and it really hurt her. If you want things to stay normal, try thinking first before you do anything that wasn't supposed to happen. Try thinking about other people's feelings." Callie turned to leave the room, but she looked back at her.

"By the way, I didn't make up the patient's story. I'm going to tell Mr. Laman what I'm gonna do to fix his knee. Get an OR ready in an hour, and get a consent form from him, curtain two in the ER."

Meredith felt panic surging in. She made a mental note to avoid Addison at all cost, she wasn't ready to face Addison.

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Several hours, one RDS premie, and one Diaphragmatic Hernia later, Addison walked down the quiet hall to find an empty room. After walking out of the exam room, she found herself on the floor of the nearest on call room she can find. But before she could calculate her next move, her pager beeped, demanding her presence in the NICU. So she pushed all thoughts of her personal life aside and went back to her job. _Not now, not here._

Expecting mothers and babies came first were her first priority while at work, and that left her little time to think about what this morning meant for her._ Did he felt like this when he found me with Mark?_ Hurt, anger, betrayal, all crashing in with a million questions of how's and why's, and what she would say or do next. Her head was telling her to go back to the trailer tonight, pack her belongings and leave; but her heart wasn't sure she could do that, even after all of this.

_Why am I thinking so hard about this? It's been decided, I can't compete. _Addison figured Derek would ask her for a divorce anyway and that meant her leaving, Derek already made the decision for the both of them. Derek didn't want her anymore, he wanted Meredith and Addison was sure of it. She looked down at the tiles as she quickened her steps to get someplace private before her tears could fall.

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Several hours and one Intracerebral Hemorrhage later, Derek walked down the quiet hall to find an empty room. Derek didn't go after Addison that morning. He didn't know what else to say. _I want a divorce? I want you to stay? _He still wasn't sure of what he wanted, who he wanted. He just can't get the look on Addison's face out of his mind, he knew how it felt to be betrayed and he regretted that he had caused Addison the same grief, and perhaps more. But before he could decide on what to tell Addison, his pager beeped, demanding his presence in the ER. _Focus, Derek, focus_…

He didn't know if he was still in love with Addison. He knew he loved her always, he remembered being in love with her, and it felt better, deeper, than anything he ever felt. He didn't know if he was in love with Meredith. He knew he loved her in a way, he remembered how she allowed him to feel for someone again after the affair, and it felt good.

_Why am I thinking so hard about this? Of course she wouldn't stay_. Derek figured that Addison would pack her belongings and leave; she already made the decision for the both of them. She wouldn't want him anymore, not after what he had done, and Derek was sure of it. He flinched at the thought of Addison and him divorcing, he looked down at the tiles as he quickened his steps to find someplace private before his emotions could get the best of him in public.

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Several hours and a few broken bones later, Meredith pushed through the door to the stairs and slumped her body to one of the steps. She hasn't seen Derek all day, he was with patients and in a surgery all day, and she successfully avoided Addison, she was in the NICU and in a surgery all day. Callie's words rang in hear ears. _Addison knew, Derek told the truth, try thinking of other people's feelings. _It must hurt like hell for Addison, she realized that now, but she can't help wondering if Addison knowing means Derek will ask for the divorce sooner than a couple of days.

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The Shepherds were about to turn the corner when they ran into each other, neither were expecting to see the other. They stood there for a moment, looking at each other, neither want to say a word, yet neither turn around the other way.

"Addison... I'm sorry..." Derek finally started, but not long before Addison interrupted.

"Just stop the pretending and get to your point, Derek." Addison just wanted to hear what she expected to hear.

"I'm not pretending, Addison, I'm really sorry. I..." Derek looked around and saw a couple of staffs at the other end of the hall way. He grabbed Addison through the door that led to the staircases; they were not going to make a scene for the second time.

Addison let go of her hand. "Just tell me, Derek, I need to hear you say it. Tell me that you want a divorce, and I'll pack my things and leave. And you're free from your obligation."

He couldn't say it. "What if I don't tell ask you for a divorce...what if..."

Derek didn't know where it was coming from, but he needed to ask. "What if...I don't ask you to leave? If I don't ask you for a divorce, will you leave me?" He wanted to know.

"I... I had a lot of patients...I, I haven't thought..." She hated herself for not knowing the answer.

"Then stay..."

"For what, Derek? To watch you going after her and screwing her, to hurt me more? What else do you want?" She couldn't hold her tears anymore.

"I don't know, Addie, I don't know... There is a lot of things I still don't know for sure..." He grabbed her hand, she didn't let go. "But I'd rather figure it out with you...and not with anyone else. That's all I know for now."

He knew he didn't deserve it, but asked anyway. "So please stay... Stay until you know, too."

Addison wiped her tears with her other hand, still perplexed at what she was hearing. Derek wanted her to stay, for whatever reason she didn't know—he didn't know either for that matter, but he wanted her to stay, nonetheless; and he seemed sincere for once. After a moment, she gave him a small nod, and felt him squeezed her hand.

Derek let go of a breath he didn't know he was holding when he saw her nod. "Thank you." He whispered. He gave her a small smile before she returned to the hallway.

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Meredith can't believe everything she just heard. _He has done it again. He's chosen her over me_.

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Alright the moral of this chapter is: don't leave your undies laying around in random places. Thank you for all of the reviews, this is my first continuing story, so I really appreciate the reviews I've gotten so far. I'm sorry that it's taken a while for the updates because I had summer class. HAD, yes I'm done with it, so I hope it wouldn't take me long to get a chapter up now. Hope you enjoy this one.


	4. No Defense

_**Ch. 4**_

_**No Defense**_

_Armed with an arrow you're pointing it straight at my heart  
Watching me break as I try to find my way out the dark_

_Sure as you said that you loved me you turned me away  
Suddenly everything changed right in front of my face_

_I guess I'll never understand  
How love can come and go_

_I wish that I had the courage to leave you behind,  
Cause you are the one that I'll love for the rest of my life  
They say someday I'll trust again  
But makes no difference  
Cause it's a battle and I have no defense_

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Meredith was sitting on top of the stairs when she heard voices coming through the door on the floor right below her. She shot up when she realized it was Derek and Addison who were arguing, and moved a couple steps down, her best spot to get a peek of the Shepherds without them noticing her presence. She had hoped this was the time Derek would ask for the divorce, but what he had asked instead was something Meredith never prepared herself to hear. She had convinced herself that she was the chosen one, but for the uncountable times in her life, she was wrong.

She was heartbroken and crushed and furious, partly at herself for making the same mistake again, the mistake of begging and hoping and waiting for Derek to choose her. She was done with this, for real this time. Meredith let herself cry for a moment, then pulled herself together before going back inside. She needed to do one thing.

She quickly approached Richard as soon as she saw him coming out of a patient's room.

"Chief! May I…may I talk with you for a moment?"

"I have a surgery very soon, could you maybe come to my office later?" Richard kept walking.

"It's just a quick question, Chief, about Izzie." _If I have to lie, I'll lie_. "May I take a few days off?"

Richard hated when his staffs took time off. "And this is about Dr. Stevens…how?"

"I've called several times today to check on her, Sir, but she never picked up. I'm…I'm worried about her. I would like to take three days off to take care of her. She…she needs someone to be with her." _Please say 'yes'…. __  
_

Richard contemplated for a minute. "Alright, fine, but I expect you to be on your best when you come back, and let me know about Stevens. I want to know if she meant what she said last night, I'm not promising her spot in the program, but I'd like to hear from her."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes, Sir. I'll talk to Izzie. Thank you so much."

"Tell Dr. Bailey I gave you permission and tell her I'll talk to her after my surgery."

With that, Richard continued his way and Meredith went to find Bailey. She needed to get out of the hospital soon and without running into either one of the Shepherds.   
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Addison sat in front of the incubator, letting the premie grabbed her index finger. Her shift just ended, but she didn't really want to go back to the trailer to face Derek tonight. She contemplated leaving after this morning, but in the end she agreed to stay when he had asked—stay until she knew what she really wanted. Addison turned around when the NICU door opened, and saw Miranda Bailey walk in.

"Hey, do you need something Miranda?"

"How is Karev doing under your service? Is he still giving you any trouble, or are you having fun slaving him around?"

Addison smiled at the questions. "He's been improving lately; I'm considering freeing him from my reign soon if he keeps it up..."

"Naah, take your time. The boy needs some whipping in the ass." Miranda grabbed a chair and sat next to Addison, who was still engrossed with the premie. "How are you, Addison?"

"I knew you didn't just come in to ask about Karev. What have the hospital rumor mills told you this time, Miranda?"

"A lot of things that aren't so great." She studied Addison's profile and decided to continue. "About Derek and Meredith at the prom last night, some nurses saw them going into an exam room…"

"This whole hospital knows about that, huh…. Why am I not surprised…" Addison shook her head, ashamed that her personal life was the number one source of the hospital's gossips.

"And Meredith just came to me to let me know that the Chief has given her permission to take three days off, to take care of Izzie she said, but I know it has nothing to do with Izzie." Miranda finally got Addison to look at her.

"He had sex with her, Miranda...again, in the exam room...again. I knew something was off last night, I gave him a chance to tell me, but he lied through his teeth. This morning I came into that exam room, Derek and Dr. Torres were there, and there was a misunderstanding. I actually had not put it past him to screw another coworker...and unfortunately accused Torres, but he did set things straight, he told me he had sex with that intern. Torres walked in on them last night."

Addison sighed. "Then, I got caught up with work and hadn't even thought about what I was going to do when we ran into each other. I thought he was going to ask me for a divorce, but then he didn't…."

"He didn't?"

"No, I thought he wanted to be with her, but he asked me 'what if he doesn't want a divorce, what if he wants me to stay'…. And when I didn't know how to answer, he asked me to stay until I know what I want—if I want to leave or give us another chance."

"He still asked you to stay, huh…"

"I know, I'm stupid, I should be strong and tell him I'm leaving now, but somehow I can't, Miranda…he…I've been with him, in love with him, for fifteen years, and I… I just don't know…yet…" By this time Addison prayed that no one would come across them in the room, she didn't want anymore of her personal life to be added to the Seattle Grace's Gossip: Prom Edition.

Miranda put a hand on her friend's shoulder. "No, you're not stupid, Addison. You're taking time to think about what's best for you. You're just making sure you're making the right decision, to leave or to give it one more chance, nothing's wrong with that."

"He doesn't know what he wants either…He told me, he'd rather figure things out with me than with anyone else…. I don't know what to think of that…"

"I'm not gonna lie to you, Addison. You're husband can be more of a McStupid than a McDreamy…" Addison chuckled at Miranda's bluntness. "But I have a feeling that he's not always been like this, and whatever you both had in New York must be quite something that you both can't let it go, even with all of this. Maybe…maybe this time it will work out...if you both want it to."

"Yeah…maybe…or maybe not…" She really had no idea.

"Look, come visit me if you ever need to talk, or anything, okay? I'm here for you Addison." Miranda got off of the chair.

"Thank you, Miranda."

With a nod, Miranda left and Addison continued to sit there for a while before going back to the trailer.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meredith stormed through her front door, a bag of liquors in one hand. She was furious. Izzie was sitting in the living room, still in her PJs, mindlessly flipping channels and munching on a cupcake.

"Why are you home early?" Izzie turned around when she heard the door, her eyes puffy from cyring.

"I'm home early because I took three days off. You and me, we hang out."

"Meredith, I told you I'm fine. I don't need you to take care of me." She turned back to the TV.

Meredith took the bottles of liquor out of the bag and handed one to Izzie. "Well, I'm not exactly here to take care of you, I've got my own problems. I just thought it'd be nice to drink my problems away with you." She took a gulp from her bottle.

"Okay, you and me, we hang out. Now spill." Izzie took a gulp from her bottle. _This is better than being alone…. __  
_

"I had sex with Derek at the prom, in an exam room…"

"You what!"

Another gulp. "You heard me. After you walked out, he and Finn were waiting for me. I chose Derek and broke Finn's heart. Derek said he needed a couple of days to explain things to Addison." Another gulp, Izzie did the same. "I believed him, I told my self this time is different. How stupid am I, Iz?"  
"He told you he's not leaving Addison! Addison took him back? How…?"

"Lemme finish… So, this morning I was assigned to Callie, who, by the way, walked in on us after we were done last night, she was looking for me to come see you. Anyway, turned out that Callie and Derek were in that same exam room and she found my panties and threw it at Derek and Addison walked in. She thought Derek was screwing Callie, long story short, but nevermind, the point is...Addison knows the truth now."

"Wow… I picked the wrong time to quit…" Izzie took another gulp.

"Then I heard the Shepherds arguing on the stairs, I thought he was asking for a divorce, but he asked her to stay instead. Addison, she…she said she didn't know if she wanted to leave, so she agreed to stay until she figure out. They're not over yet, but they will be if she decides to leave. I'm done with this, Izzie…I have to really move on this time…somehow…" Meredith took a few gulps.

"Oh, Mer…"

"He chose her again, Iz. All this time, I thought he wanted me with those looks he gave and trying to be friends shit. I was stupid enough to hope that someday he'd divorce her and come back to me. But look at me now; I'm the dirty mistress, who thought she could compete against the wife…."

"Men are stupid. Well, except for Denny, Denny was…Denny, and I have to move on to…somehow" Few tears escaped and took a few gulps from her bottle. "Alex has been calling me all day; he needs to leave me alone…"

"Us and our boy problems." The two girls continued nursing their bottles.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When George and Callie came home, Meredith and Izzie can barely move on the couch, each holding an almost empty bottle of liquor, with some already empty bottles tossed on the table and on the floor. The television was on, with the volume down, some cupcakes on the table, with crumbs everywhere. Two very drunk girls were not what George and Callie expected to come home to that night, especially not to Callie, who had her fair share of Meredith's drama that day.

"Oh hey, look… It's George and Callie…" Meredith slurred.

"Hello guys…have a cupcake…" Izzie chimed in.

George immediately took the bottles out of their hands, much to their protests.

"Don't take my drink, I need my drink… I'm the dirty mistress and I'm alone…He chose his wife again…."

"Yeaaah George… Give us a break, Denny is gone, I miss Denny…."

George took a deep breath, the last time Izzie was like this was when Alex cheated and the last time Meredith was like this was when Derek didn't sign the papers.

"Callie, would you help me carry them to Meredith's room?"

"Why? Why can't we leave them here?" She had had enough.

"Because Meredith's room has a bathroom! Unless, you want to clean their vomits in the morning…. Please, Cal?"

"Fine!"

George and Callie put Meredith's and Izzie's arm around their neck and helped them walk up to Meredith's room. Meredith's cell phone went off as they put them on the bed. George grabbed it from her waist.

"It said 'Derek'. Should I pick up?" The phone kept ringing.

"Someone, give me phone…" Meredith's hands flailed everywhere, searching for her phone.

"Give it to me." Callie grabbed the phone before George can say a word.

"Hello." Derek's 'hello' was heard, Callie continued. "Listen, Meredith can't talk right now, and even if she can, I'm sure she doesn't want to talk to you. So just leave her alone!" She shut off the phone.

George was confused. "What was that about!"

"I'll tell you later." Callie put the phone on the nightstand and left the room.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Derek shut his phone off and put it on the kitchen table, confused as to why Callie was the one who picked up Meredith's phone. He found out that she had taken three days off from work, and had called to check if she was okay, besides eventually telling her that they needed to talk. He felt guilty about hurting Meredith, about giving her hope only to break her heart again, he felt like the biggest jackass alive. A moment later, Addison's car pulled in outside and he felt nervous.

"I bought dinner on the way home." He said when she came in.

"I'm not hungry." She said without looking at him. She threw her bag and coat on the couch and kicked off her heels.

"Addie, I'm sorry…"

"You had sex with her, why aren't you with her? Did she choose to go home with the vet? Is that why you asked me to stay, so you wouldn't be alone?" She felt safe letting her emotions out now that they were alone, without any hospital personnel prying into their personal life.

Derek stood up. "No, Addie, no… She didn't go home with Finn, she chose me. But I can't let go of you, Addie. Again, I can't…"

"Do you still want me, love me? No…" She rephrased her question. "Are you still in love with me?"

When Derek didn't answer after a few seconds, Addison stormed past him through the bedroom. She pulled out her suitcase and threw it opened on the floor_. Maybe this is not worth fighting for… __  
_

"I remembered loving you, being in love with you." He finally spoke, still in the kitchen. "I remembered how it felt, it felt better than anything else, than anyone could make me feel. And I want it back, Addie, I know I want that back. I want what we had before…."

She slumped onto the floor, staring at the opened suitcase with tears in her eyes. She can't start packing her things. She looked up when she saw him by the bedroom door.

"How did you do it, Derek? How the hell did you do it, when you packed and left me in New York?"

He stood still by the door. "I've always thought I'd come back. I just left to cool off, to numb the pain, to forget the image of you and him. I never thought I'd stay here for long."

"But you did, when you found her. Were you still thinking of going back then? Would you go back if I didn't come?"

"She made me feel again, I cared about her, and I thought that if you can be with Mark, then maybe I can be with someone else. But I still thought of you, going back to you…and then you came…"

"But you didn't want me anymore…." Addison broke down and she didn't care. She had held herself together for so long, and it was too much to bear.

Derek walked to her and reached out to her.

"No…" She scooted away from him.

Derek resisted and she finally let him hold her as she cried.

"I'm done hurting you, I'm done with her." He whispered. "I want you Addie, I still want you…"


	5. Had Enough

_**Ch. 5**_

_**Had Enough**_

_I've had enough of being nice  
I've had enough of right and wrong_

_I've had enough of being good  
And doing everything like I'm told I should_

_I've had enough of being trodden on  
My passive days are gonna be long gone  
If you slap one cheek, well, I ain't gonna turn the other_

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _

Real life came to a pause as Meredith and Izzie spent three days out and about in the city of Seattle; eating at its famous eateries, shopping, going to the spa and the bar, albeit not Joe's bar. Now the three days of bliss had come to an end and the real world was ready, though Meredith and Izzie were not, to resume tomorrow morning.

"You're back to work tomorrow…" Izzie stated.

"Yeah...with them there. Derek called a couple of times. Most likely to give me the 'I'm sorry I can't leave her, again, but let's keep being friends' speech."

"You can do this, Mer, you'll manage…"

Meredith sighed. "What about you, Iz? It might not be too late, you know, you can sill try to talk to Chief."

"I don't know, Mer. I don't know if I can be around the hospital right now, having the image of him in that ICU, in the OR…." Izzie paused for a moment. "I think I'll go visit my mom, come home for a little while…."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You do know that you have to come back here, right?"

Izzie chuckled. "I'll come back. Thank you…for hanging out with me, I needed that."

"I can say the same to you."

"Come on, get your ass off this couch."

"Izzie, I have to go to work tomorrow. We cannot have another drunken night!" Meredith groaned.

"I'm not getting you drunk! I swear Callie is going to crack our bones if she has to deal with us one more time, and that's not a pretty image. Anyway, I'm teaching to how to bake."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Izzie, I don't do baking…"

"Not yet, now get up! You can bake while I'm gone, maybe score brownie points with Callie." Izzie laughed.

"Not funny, Iz…." Meredith finally got up and followed Izzie to the kitchen.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, Meredith dragged herself to the hospital with one mission in mind: avoid the Shepherds. She informed Dr. Bailey and the Chief about Izzie's situation first thing in the morning, and, much to her relief, she was not assigned to either of the Shepherds. It seemed like luck was on her side when she almost made it to lunch without having any confrontation with either of them, but of course, there was no such luck. Meredith was in the elevator going down to the cafeteria, when it opened and entered Derek.

"Meredith…"

"What do you want?"

"We need to talk, I've been trying to call you, but you didn't pick up…" Derek stopped.

"You're avoiding me, you wouldn't be avoiding me unless…you….." He realized she knew somehow. "You knew."

"I saw. Heard. On the stairs, I was sitting on the floor above you."

"Meredith, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…."

"Just stop, okay. Stop. Stop following me. Stop looking at me. Stop chasing me. Stop saying you want to be my friend. Stop saying you're sorry. Stop talking to me! I don't care anymore, Derek, I don't care. I'm done with you. Done waiting for you. Done hoping that you'd pick me. Done!"

"I never wanted to hurt you…"

"I don't want to hear your explanation. Just leave me alone. I should've known that when you couldn't leave her the first time, you could never leave her."

They stood in silence until the elevator door opened and Meredith marched out without looking back.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Addison sat on a bench; Derek suggested that they meet here for lunch. _Déjà vu._ It was the same place where they argued about her moving to Seattle. _"I like that you find cute little viewfinders in every city you live in." "I don't live here yet."_ It was the same place where Derek was supposed to meet her on Thanksgiving, if he had not stood her up. _"Derek, it's me. Where are you?"_

It had been three days since the night Derek held her as she cried her heart out. They went to work separately and kept it professional at the hospital. They had lunch together and he brought her juju. Derek tried to talk to her, but she wanted little to do with him. She was still angry and trying to cope with the unwelcome emotions without having to run away to the middle of nowhere and set up a tepee by a river—something like her husband did when he was in her position. Derek had paid more attention to her, but it wasn't enough to prove her anything more than his attempt to reduce his own guilty feeling.

"Hey." Derek sat down and handed her a sandwich from the brown bag he brought.

"Thank you." She ate her sandwich quietly.

Derek tried to make a conversation and she gave him one word answers here and there. He was getting frustrated but she didn't care, she had something else mind.

"Meredith is back to work, I talked to her…well, tried to." Addison stopped eating; neither of them had brought up Meredith in the last three days. "I just wanted to tell her about us. It's over me and her, Addie. This time I mean it, it's just you and me."

"I want you to get rid of the trailer." She blurted out.

"What!"

Addison finally looked at him. "I want to move out, to an apartment, house, town house, whatever…something with walls and rooms and tubs and closets. And I want that trailer gone."

"Don't be ridiculous, Addie."

"Ridiculous! When I was making up for my mistake, I left behind the brownstone we loved, the city we loved, our friends and family, my practice, because you wanted me to. I did it because I was proving it to you that I love you more than my life in New York. And you're telling me I'm being ridiculous! I'm not asking to move back to New York, hell, I'm not even asking you to switch to another hospital so we don't have to work with her anymore! Prove to me that you mean it when you said you wanted me, then I'll stay."

Derek stood up in front of her. "I'm proving it to you! I'm trying to talk to you. You don't want to talk me…."

"I get to _not_ want to talk to you, Derek!" Addison rose from the bench. "You walked out without a word and left me to forget that night. Now, I didn't walk away like you did to deal with this. I'm still here, seeing you everyday and working with you and her. So I get to be angry with you and to want nothing to do with you for a few days, and if you can't wait it out...maybe this is too hard for you."

"Fine! We can move out, okay? We'll find a place and we'll move there. You don't have to live in the trailer anymore, you don't even have to see it anymore, but I'm not selling it!"

"You don't get it, do you! That trailer is like the work and the hospital in New York, where you buried yourself in to ignore me. The hospital is enough to keep you from me, from our marriage, I don't need another place that you can walk away to whenever we argue. I'm not going to wait around for you to come home, while you're at your trailer fishing trout!

They glared at each other for a while, both were furious and neither wanted to give in to the other. Addison finally broke the silence.

"And I want to see it when you get rid of that trailer."

"What, you don't trust me?"

"No, I don't."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meredith tossed her tray on the table and sat next to Cristina, who was toying mindlessly with her salad.

"I'm supposed to be your person, and I only got a phone call from you before you disappeared to three days of playing rich wives with Izzie. Now tell me everything, and I don't mean the details of your shopping and pampering, I mean the important stuffs, like how was the sex with Shepherd?"

"Cristina! I'm not telling you that, I don't even want to remember it. Like I told you, he and I are done for good. I saw him in the elevator."

"Elevator, huh…."

"I was going down, he walked in, he tried to talk to me…apologize and the whole nine yard. I told him to stop. We're really over."

"Good for you, it's about time you really move on from him. How's Izzie?"

"She's better, visiting her mom for a few days. How's Burke?"

"He'll be out the day after tomorrow."

"Are you taking time off to be with him?"

"No…should I? He hasn't said anything…"

"Seriously! Your boyfriend is getting out of the hospital after being shot and you're not going to spend time with him at home?"

"He didn't ask me to, I… I don't want to miss surgeries; he'll understand…I don't know, Mer…"

"You should think about it. Burke still needs you, whether he says it or not."

Alex joined them at the table. "Hey, how's Izzie? I tried to call her, but she never picked up."

Meredith sighed. "Leave her alone, Alex. She needs time by herself right now. She'll talk to you when she's ready."

"What is she going to do now?" Alex asked as George joined the table.

"I don't know…she doesn't know. She's visiting her mom for a few days, hopefully that will do her some good. Hey George, um…where is Callie?" Meredith asked anyway, it had been a little awkward ever since Callie told him everything that had happened since prom.

"Callie got paged to a surgery. Have you seen any of the Shepherds yet?" George asked.

"Yeah…the he-Shepherd, it was…whatever, I'm done with him. It's the she-Shepherd I'm dreading. How are they like now?"

"They tried to keep it civil and professional, but you know…very North Pole." Cristina replied.

"They have lunch together, though. He would go find her and bring her coffee" George chimed in.

"Yeah…. But what Cristina said, she-Shepherd is avoiding him. She's not in a very good mood these days…" Alex added.

"Well thank you, Captain Obvious, I'll write that down on my hand as a reminder…." Meredith rolled her eyes. "How much longer is she keeping you in the vagina squad?"

"Until she says I can go…" Alex hated to be reminded of his servitude.

"Seriously!" The three other interns chuckled and made jokes at his expense.

"Oh shut up, wait till you run into her, Grey!"

Meredith stopped laughing. "Um…yeah…sorry, Alex…"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Derek and Addison sat in Richard's office, still not talking to each other since lunch, and waited for Richard to begin.

"Have you heard of the Schweider case?"

"Of course, it's all over the news. The baby was born with Craniopagus parasiticus, a second head, about three months ago, the last thing I heard was that they were still deciding what to do." Derek replied.

"The doctors at the hospital, where the baby, Julia, was born, have agreed that the surgery needs to take place soon. The parasitic twin is growing faster and is adding pressure to Julia's head and is preventing her brain from developing. She's starting to show signs of other complications due to her body providing for the extra head. The Schweiders had done some research on various hospitals and surgeons as to where and who to operate on their daughter and they have decided on both of you. I got a call from them earlier today."

"Both of us?" Addison inquired.

"They want Derek as the lead Neurosurgeon and they want you in charge of monitoring Julia through this whole process. They know that you're mainly Neonatal, but with your reputation, Addison, they want Julia under your care. You have free reign to choose the additional Pediatric surgeons and personnel you will need."

Addison shifted in her seat. "This is a very rare and extremely difficult case…. "

"I believe both of you can do this, you're both ready. The Schweiders are confident in you, they found that you both have worked very well together throughout your career, and they think you are the best doctors for their daughter. This is a one in a lifetime opportunity, Shepherds, what do you say?

Addison and Derek looked at each other; they both knew very well that despite the trouble in their marriage, this case is too good to pass up. They both looked at Richard and nodded.

"Great! Now, I will inform the Schweiders and they will be transferred within two or three days, giving you two enough time to assemble your team. Speaking of team, I understand that both of you have only worked in Seattle Grace for less than a year, meaning you are not on the level of familiarity with the staff here as you were with the staff where you used to work. Though I would like to have an all Seattle Grace staff on this team, I want the best, hence I'm allowing you to pull out the people you used to work with from New York if need be."

"Wow…. Richard, thank you…." Derek was astounded.

"One more thing, I've heard the rumors and I knew that the both of you aren't on your best term with each other." Addison and Derek looked down at their hands, avoiding eye contacts with Richard and each other. "Maintain your professionalism, Shepherds. This case needs your utmost attention and focus. I don't want you personal life gets in a way…which brings me to Dr. Mark Sloan."

They both shot up at the mention.

"What about Mark, Richard?" Addison didn't like where this was going.

"You need reconstructive plastic surgeons on this case. He is one of, if not, the best in New York, and all of you have worked together in various cases in the past. Now, I'm your friend and I know both of you want nothing to do with him, personally, I don't like the guy either, but this is about work…. "

"Richard, don't do this to me again…" Derek shook his head.

Richard raised his voice. "This is one high profile, extremely high risk, one of a kind case, Derek! They trust you, and I trust you, to do your best, to put the best surgeons you know on this team. I've seen and read about his works, and you two have certainly worked with him in the past. You can't deny that he is one hell of a plastic surgeon. Think about this, Derek, Addison, really think about it very thoroughly. This is about the Schweiders."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Addison sat on the bed with files of Seattle Grace's and New York's surgical rosters scattered on the bed along with medical journals and documents regarding the Schweider's case and the previous similar cases. The were only eight cases of Craniopagus parasiticus recorded in the world, three have made it alive after birth, one underwent surgery at four months old and died on the table, and one survived the surgery at ten months old but died almost a year later.

They hadn't talked about the trailer issue, and they certainly hadn't talked about the 'Mark being on this case' issue. Derek and Addison knew that it wasn't fair to rob the Schweiders of the best possible team because of their marital problem. It would be selfish of them to do so. They were aware that when a case this big came along, their personal life had to be put on hold.

Addison broke from her thought when Derek marched into the trailer.

"He wanted Mark! I can't believe him. Richard's supposed to be our friend!"

"And he's also our boss…"

"Seriously? You want Mark to come here when we're…we're trying to put our marriage back?"

"What makes you think that Mark can't be here, when Meredith is still at that hospital everyday! Answer me, Derek! I've watched you chased after her and I still have to see you work with her and I even have to work with her. When are you going to understand that you're not the only one hurting, Derek?"

"I'm sorry…. Derek walked toward the bed and sat next to her. "I'm sorry. It's just that...you think…you think we can work with him again?"

"I don't know…." Addison turned to him. "Try by not punching him for a starter. If we all can be adults and behave, we'll get the job done. Just…Derek, everybody's already watching us as it is…. I just don't want any of us to make any scene…."

Derek sighed. "I'll try not to. I'll leave him alone and there'll be no punching…except if he bothers you…."

"Derek…" Addison was not amused.

"Right, fine…. No punching no matter what, no scene." Derek stared at the papers in front of them and took a deep breath. "So…he's in?"

Addison gave him a small nod. "As much as I don't want him here, these people deserve the best we can give them. We're doing the right thing."

"Yeah, this is about work…." Derek rested his head on his hands for a minute. "I'll call him…."

Addison watched his nervous face as he took out his cell phone and dialed for Mark.

"Mark, it's Derek…. " He glanced at Addison and she squeezed his left hand. "Addison and I have the Schweider's case coming to Seattle Grace, Craniopagus parasiticus." Derek looked at her hand in his and tightened his grip.

"How would you like to come to Seattle and join our team?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Craniopagus parasiticus is very rare medical condition of conjoined twins, in which a second head with an undeveloped or underdeveloped body is attached to the head of the fully developed twin.


	6. Something to Talk About

So apparently quite a few people missed, on the A/N on the frist chapter, that i'm an ADDEK, hence this story is 99.9 going to be ADDEK. So just to let you know that if you don't ship the ship I ship, and you don't like to read a story that ships the ship you don't ship, then don't bother reading this. 'Nuff with the ship already, here's the new chapter: 

_**Ch. 6  
Something to Talk About**_

_People are talkin', talkin' 'bout people  
I hear them whisper, you won't believe it_

_Let's give 'em somethin' to talk about  
A little mystery to figure out  
Let's give 'em somethin' to talk about  
How about love?_

_Listen to 'em baby  
A little mystery won't hurt 'em  
Let's give 'em somethin' to talk_

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _

The interns' locker room was abuzz with the rumors of some kind of high profile case making its way to Seattle Grace Hospital's surgical department. Bailey's four interns sat together on the benches, trading the gossip they have overheard from the nurses early this morning.

"So who do you think this X-file belongs to?" Cristina whispered.

"I put my money on the she-Shepherd. According to the vagina squad's nurses, the Chief has made arrangement for a private NICU last night." Alex shared his information.

"I heard that whatever this is, it's arriving tomorrow." Meredith stated.

"Do you think we'll get in on this case, like on the quintuplet's case?" George asked.

"I don't know about you guys, but since I'm the she-Shepherd's slave, I'm definitely in." Alex smirked.

"Oh, shut up, Evil Spawn! I wouldn't be so sure if I were you." Cristina replied nonchalantly. "You got her a lawsuit, what makes you think she wouldn't have you sit out on this? It adds to your torture…."

Meredith and George snickered.

"Do you want to bet on this, Yang? After all the sucking up I plan to do today, I promise you, I'll be in tomorrow." Alex dared her.

"Not if I suck up to her more, you won't…." Cristina was not to be defeated.

"Seriously, if Izzie's here, we all won't have a chance. But I'm her next favorite suck up. I helped her with Bailey's labor." George added to the fire.

"Happy sucking up to you guys. No amount of sucking up will get me on this case of it's Addison's…" Meredith sighed. "I've got to pick up Mrs. Carter's lab. I'll see you guys later…."

"That sucks." George said after Meredith left.

"But the game's on." Cristina got up. "You two will acknowledge that I'm Seattle Grace's greatest suck up when I'm on the case tomorrow and you are not!"

Cristina ran out of the room with Alex and George tailing after her to find Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meredith leaned on the back of the elevator, grateful that no one else was in there with her. She had avoided Addison as much as she can and it seemed like Addison was avoiding her as well. Though they saw each other during rounds and around the hospital, Addison had not made a move to talk to confront her ever since the day she asked if Meredith was sleeping with her husband.

The elevator began to lose its spot as Meredith's favorite place after the incident with Derek yesterday, and when the door opened to the Shepherds today. They were too busy arguing to notice Meredith in the back of the elevator. Addison quickly turned around to push the button when she saw her, while Derek gave Meredith a nod. An awkward silence was inevitable.

The elevator officially became her least favorite place, when a minute later, it opened to reveal Dr. Mark Sloan. Derek moved closer to Addison's side, giving some space to Mark. It baffled Meredith that the Shepherds didn't look surprised, let alone get out of the elevator.

"Well, well, well…. Isn't it the fantastic four…."

Mark's comment triggered Derek to catch the door from closing all the way.

"We're taking the stairs." He said as he grabbed Addison's hand and pulled her along with him before Addison could protest.

The elevator closed and Meredith wished she had gotten out, too.

"You know…" Mark turned to face her. "That was…different…from the last time I was here."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, I believe you do." Mark studied her profile. "Derek just got out, taking Addison with him, without any glance to you or me." She hated being scrutinized with those eyes of him. "The last time I was here, I got a punch for just talking to you. Now, he left you all alone in this elevator with me. What gives?"

Meredith kept her eyes straight to avoid Mark's and dashed out when the door opened, but he followed.

"What are you doing here?" She kept walking.

"Not until you tell me what happened."

"They got their marriage back together, as simple as that." She lied, hoping Mark would leave her alone.

"Oh, you're such a lousy liar! I would know if they did, I would see it." Mark rolled his eyes. "If they're okay, he wouldn't be so uncomfortable and walked out like that. Come on, we're the dirty mistresses, tell me…"

Meredith fastened her pace. "There is nothing to tell…"

"You know, it isn't hard to find out news in Seattle Grace, the rumor mills work non stop. I'll find out…soon." Mark stopped and finally let her get away.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Derek paced back and forth in the empty conference room. Addison perched on the table watching him.

"How are we going to do this?"

"I don't know, Derek…"

"It's not too late to ask Rodgers, he's the best here."

"Here in Seattle Grace, yes, and being in Seattle means he is not as experienced as someone who practices in a bigger city like New York. You know that, we saw his file..."

"But we're making a mistake, Addison…"

"You're right, we're making a mistake. You and I can barely get along, yet we invited Mark here, to add to the mess we're already in." Addison threw her hands up in asperity. "It's suicide for our marriage, really…."

Derek grimaced. "You're not supposed to say that I'm right…."

"But you are, Derek. It is a mistake for us, but…" Addison looked at him in the eyes. "It's the right thing for the Schweiders…."

Derek sighed. "And…we don't want incur the wrath of Richard by sending him back to New York…."

"And that, too…" Addison nodded and stood up. "I've got to go, I have a surgery."

"I'll see you at lunch?" Derek kissed her cheek as she passed him.

"Yeah."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Chief of Surgery's warning to leave the Shepherds alone had confirmed his suspicion that something had happened, and Mark made it his mission today to find out just that. After his meeting with Richard, Mark flirted his way through the female nurses, interns, and residents, getting bits and pieces of the Seattle Grace Gossip: Prom Edition.

He heard about the prom that was held at the hospital for the Chief's niece almost a week ago, he heard about Izzie Stevens' meltdown at said prom, and he heard about some kind of stand off between Meredith, Derek, and Meredith's date. But Mark was still missing the missing link, and he hoped the two young nurses talking in the hallway can help him connect the dots.

"Hello Ladies, good afternoon." Mark read their tags. "How are you doing today, Nurse Warner and Nurse Paton?

The two nurses blushed at the gorgeous doctor. "Good, thank you. Can we help you with something?"

"Yes, I'm a visiting doctor" He showed the temporary tag he got from Richard. "I'm not familiar with this hospital yet. Would you two mind showing me the way to the surgical floor?"

"Of course." Mark was glad that the nurses appeared to have no clue of who he exactly was.

"So…what's the juicy gossip around here? Any fights or on call room rendezvous like we have at the hospital I work at?" Mark flashed that charming smile of his, complete with a wink, and that got the nurses talking.

"We had a prom for the Chief's niece a week ago. Dr. McDreamy, that's what we call him around here, he's a neurosurgeon, went with his wife, who's also a surgeon here. And Dr. Grey, an intern, went with her new boyfriend." Nurse Paton gave him the scoop he needed as they walked.

"It's really a long story, we're new, and so we don't know a lot of details. Apparently, McDreamy dated Dr. Grey when he was separated with his wife, but he left her to go back to his wife." Nurse Warner lowered her voice. "Anyway, at the prom, some of us saw him following Dr. Grey to an exam room."

"He did?"

"Yes, they were in there for a while. Then Dr. Torres walked in there, and when Dr. Grey came out, Dr. Torres had to fix her dress. It didn't help that McDreamy came out not long after them looking kind of disheveled. If you know what I mean…."

Mark can feel his blood boiling at what he was hearing. "Then what? Did his wife find out?"

Nurse Paton continued. "Meredith told her date to go home or something, he left, but she didn't leave with McDreamy either. They went home separately. We all think his wife knew by now, but she took him back."

"I don't know how she can take him back after that, I hear that they live in a trailer!" Nurse Warner exclaimed.

Mark had had enough. "I'm afraid I've forgotten something, I've got to go…." He left the two nurses without even looking back.

Nurse Paton called after him "Hope to see you around!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cristina quickly dismissed herself when Derek entered Preston Burke's room.

"How are you feeling today, Preston?"

"Better and ready to get out of here…."

Derek smiled at his friend. "Can't wait until tomorrow, I see…."

"What about my hand, Derek?" He noticed a slight fear in Preston's voice.

"Preston, you can't expect to have it back to normal right away, take it easy. I know it still trembles and that worried you, but based on your tests and everything else, I have a good feeling that you will be back in the OR one day. Not soon, but with therapy and time to heal, you'll gradually gain control of it again."

Relief washed over Preston's face. "That's the best news I've heard in a while. Thank you…"

"You're welcome. Now, is Dr. Yang going to take sometime off to be with you? I would like you to have someone with you at home for at least the first day, to help you settle down."

Derek noticed a change in Preston's face. He understood the look on Preston's face; he saw that a lot on Addison's these past few years of their marriage. That look when she hoped for and wanted him to be somewhere or do something with her, but she knew that he, most likely, would say 'no'.

"I don't know, Derek. You know Cristina, she wouldn't want to miss the surgeries, especially with this X-file case she just told me about…. Plus, I'm Preston Burke, I can full well take care of myself."

"X-file, huh!" Derek knew it was the Schweider's case the interns were wondering about.

"You have something to do with this, don't you?" Preston smiled.

"Addison and I do, yes. Don't tell Cristina yet, they'll find out tomorrow."

"How is Addison?" Preston changed the subject. "She came in to keep me company several times. She's not exactly alright, is she?"

Derek wished the rumors hadn't reached the confines of Preston's hospital room yet, but wishing such thing would be like wishing Addison would profess her love of the trailer.

"No, she's not. She's doing the best she can, and I'm doing the best I can to make up for what I've done. I'm trying to make this right…hoping that I'm not too late."

"It's not too late if you really try this time. She'll see it if you make the effort." Preston smiled. "Now, tell me about this X-file I'm going to miss…"

Derek made a mental not to talk to Addison later as he told him about the Schweider's case.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Addison was about to cross the catwalk when she heard Derek called her name. She turned around only to see Mark came from behind Derek, grabbed his lab coat, and slammed him to the wall. Addison froze at the sight. _No, no, not again…_

"You slept with Meredith! What the hell is wrong with you!" Mark was furious.

"I made a horrid mistake, I know, she knows, this whole hospital knows. I am very sorry for what I did and I'm making up for my mistake." Derek tried to keep his voice leveled, keeping every bit of him from lunging forward and fighting his former bestfriend.

"Do you even have the slightest feeling left for Addison, Derek? Have you ever thought about how much you've been hurting her?"

"I'm not proud with what I did, Mark, and I regret every hurtful thing I have done to her. But I still want her, and we're working on our marriage…. Without your interference, preferably…" Mark pushed Derek to the wall one more time.

Addison finally broke from her trance and walked toward her husband and Mark. She already saw a couple staff sticking their heads out to watch the commotion and it had to stop.

"Mark, let him go!"

"Le him go! You want me to let him go!"

"You're here for work, remember that! Just leave us alone…"

"How can I leave you alone when he's treating you like this, Addison?" Mark was still pressing Derek to the wall. "He had sex with her and you're still staying with him. Why, Addison? You deserve so much more…"

"Mark, this whole hospital is already watching Addison and I as it is. Don't make anymore scene…." Derek glanced at Addison. "Please, Mark…"

"The team meeting isn't until tomorrow. Just leave…" Her voice stern.

Mark glanced between Derek and Addison before releasing his grip on the collar of Derek's lab coat and left.

"Addie…"

Addison held up a hand. "Not now, Derek." And she made her way across the catwalk.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meredith and Cristina sat on the gurney in the basement after lunch, working on their charts.

"McSteamy is in town…. I was in the elevator when the Shepherds came in, _then_ he came in."

"Quite the company, huh…. Anything good happened?"

"Sloan made a comment and Derek got out, taking Addison with him. Then he pounded on me to tell him what's going on."

"Did you tell him?"

"No. But he'll find out anyway…"

"Oh believe me, he found out alright." Cristina gave her a knowing grin.

"Okay, seriously, what do you know?"

"McSteamy slammed McDreamy to the wall. He was yelling and furious…and hot, I tell ya…"

"They fought in the middle of the hallway!"

"Not a fight, per se…. Derek didn't fight back. Addison was nearby and saw it. She told Sloan to leave."

"He wouldn't tell me why he's here. I don't know if he's giving it another try to get Addison back or…."

"He's here for the X-file, heard Addison said something about the team meeting isn't until tomorrow."

"This X-file is getting really interesting…."

"With Sloan and you and those Shepherds all here, it's more like the Ex-File."

"Shut up!" Meredith decided to change the subject. "So Burke is going home tomorrow, have you thought about it yet?"

"You do understand that we have this X-file coming tomorrow, right? The whole hospital is whispering left and right about it, do you really think I want to miss it!"

"Your boyfriend, who loves you and whom you love, needs you!"

Cristina knew Meredith was right. "I'll think about it…."

"You said that yesterday…"

"But I will seriously think about it…tonight…. I promise."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Addison leaned to the railing of the catwalk, staring at the sunset through the big windows of Seattle Grace._ "I didn't want to see you today."_ She remembered what Derek said when Mark came the first time. She felt how he felt that day. Just as she was trying to move on from the pain of Derek's infidelity, Mark had to barge in and reminded her all over again.

She didn't want to see Derek today, but Derek had finally found her. He handed her the classified pages of the newspapers, with houses on sale plastered all over those pages.

"What is this?"

"I know we're going to be busy for a while, but I thought we could start picking out the houses we like whenever we have the time. We can go to see the ones we pick once we're done with the case."

Addison studied his face. "Is this because Mark pushed your buttons today?"

"No. No, I was going to tell you this afternoon…when I called you, before he grabbed me…. So, what do you say?"

"Alright." Addison gave him a small smile.

"I'll get rid of the trailer once we found our house." The smile on her face grew and Derek realized that he might not be too late.


	7. One Week

_**Ch. 7**_

_**One Week**_

_How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad_

_Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad_

_I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral_

_Can't understand what I mean?_

_Well, you soon will_

_I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve_

_I have a history of taking off my shirt_

_It's been one week since you looked at me_

_Threw your arms in the air and said you're crazy_

_Five days since you tackled me_

_I've still got the rug burns on both my knees_

_It's been three days since the afternoon_

_You realized it's not my fault not a moment too soon_

_Yesterday you'd forgiven me_

_And now I sit back and wait till you say you're sorry_

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Meredith!" George called out, with a cup of coffee in one hand and a brown bag in the other.

"Hey, what's up?"

"I need a favor"

Meredith was puzzled. George asking her for a favor was normal, back before she slept with him, before Callie, and before prom, but it was certainly something new now.

"Sure."

"I need you to bake me some cupcakes."

"You're talking to Meredith, not Izzie. Wrong person, George."

"No, you're the right person. Izzie's not back yet and she taught you how to bake her cupcakes."

"Are you asking me this as a bonding thing to Callie? I'll bake her cupcakes, and she'll…I don't know…cook me dinner or something?"

"It's not for Callie, It's for she-Shepherd. I need to score some points, you know, the X-File..."

"You're asking me to bake cupcakes for the woman, whose husband I slept with at prom. Seriously!"

"A, she's not going to find out you made them. B, you're not really doing this for her, do it for me. If you're not sucking up, at least help a friend out. Seriously!"

"But I don't bake! What if it tastes bad?"

"You don't know if you don't try." George struggled to get a banana nut muffin out of the bag. "Here, Seattle's most famous muffin."

"Why can't you just give her the muffins!" Meredith grabbed the muffin and munched on it. "These are very good muffins!"

"Because the others might get her muffins, too! Homemade cupcakes are...different... It's Izzie's cupcakes!"

"Stick to the muffins, George." Meredith turned the corner, leaving an annoyed George in the hallway.

"Seriously!"

-------------------------------------------------------------

"What about this one?" Addison pointed at a description of a house on the newspaper Derek was holding as they made their way to the nurse's station. "Big master bathroom with two sinks…"

"No. The house doesn't have an open floor plan." Derek scanned through the page and pointed at a picture of a house. "What about that one? Big front and backyard, two stories…."

"I'm sorry, are moving to a haunted house, Derek?" Addison rolled her eyes and before Derek could protest, the three interns called.

"Dr. Shepherd!" Both the Doctors Shepherds turned around to see the Cristina, Alex, and George behind them, each with a cup and a brown bag in hands.

"Good morning, Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd. I got Burke some bagels this morning, and I thought I'd get you some of their famous cinnamon bagels. Oh, and a cup of hot chocolate, as well." Cristina handed the breakfast to Addison.

Addison glanced at her husband, who was equally bemused as she was. "Uh, well, that's very nice of you, Dr. Yang. Thank you."

"And I want to thank you for taking me under your wing these past few weeks. I've learned so much, and as a thank you, here's some chocolate chip scones and coffee from the little cafe across the street. I've noticed that, sometimes, you get your coffee there in the morning." Addison grabbed the brown bag from Alex and gestured for him to give the cup to Derek.

"Am I missing something?" Derek voiced his confusion as he took the cup.

George was not about to waste anymore time. "Izzie recommended this cafe with the best muffins, so I thought I..."

"What's going on here?" Bailey approached the group and glared from the interns to the goodies the Shepherds were holding and to George who was still holding his goodies. "Sucking up to the Shepherds, I see."

"No, no, just to Addison. I'm feeling left out here…." Derek grumbled while Addison tried to keep a straight face.

"You interns sure hear the news fast around here." Miranda grabbed the coffee and the bag of muffins from George. "Alright, back to your patients! Next time, get your news right! He-Shepherd is in charge of the case, too, you know…." Miranda then walked away to enjoy her coffee and muffins.

"By the way, I like blueberry bran muffins..." Derek informed the three embarrassed interns before ushering a laughing Addison to the nurse's station.

---------------------------------

Addison smiled as she walked into Preston Burke's room and saw him packing his things.

"Ready to go home?"

"As ready as I can be. Though, I'm little bit disappointed that I'm going to miss out on this X-File of yours." Preston grinned.

"X-File indeed. This morning I thought aliens have abducted the interns and brain washed them. Your girlfriend brought me cinnamon bagels and hot chocolate, Karev brought me chocolate chip scones and coffee, and O'Malley brought me muffins and coffee...but Bailey took those."

"Really?" Burke laughed as he motioned for Addison to sit next to him on the bed.

"Yeah, and the funny thing was they didn't know Derek is involved as well. You should've seen his face when they brought all this food for me and totally ignored him."

"I can imagine. So…how are you?"

"I should be the one asking you that…. "

"Well, I'm good to go home, the news is good. I'm starting therapy and looking forward to be back here. Now, how are you?"

"I'm okay, considering that I'm dealing with the mess that is my marriage, along with this all-consuming case."

"Derek seems to be serious about it this time."

"For now, but who knows how long that will last. Mark's being here keeps him on the edge. Nothing works out a marriage than having the third and fourth party with us. The more the merrier, I guess…." Addison said sarcastically.

"But you want this to work and so does he. You'll find a way."

"I hope so…." Addison changed the subject. "So, your girlfriend is trying to get on this case, is she not staying home with you?"

"It's Cristina we're talking about, Addison. Of course she's not going to miss the case, she brought you breakfast! I understand...I'll be just fine by myself."

"Hey."

Addison and Burke turned to see Cristina standing at the door in her street clothes instead of her scrubs. Addison smiled at him.

"I'll leave you two alone. I'm looking forward for you comeback, Preston, you'll be missed."

"Thanks, Addison."

"What are you doing here?" Burke asked Cristina after Addison left.

"I've been thinking…and decided to stay home with you. Chief gave me today and tomorrow off."

"I thought you don't want to miss the big case, it'll be here in the afternoon. You brought bagels and hot chocolate for Addison this morning."

"But you need me, so that's okay. The bagels and the hot chocolate are just a head start anyway."

-------------------------------------------

"Seattle Grace Hospital proves to be one of the leading hospitals in the Northwest as Daniel and Vanessa Schweiders arrive today, seeking treatment for their daughter. Three months ago, Julia Schweider was born with a condition called Craniopagus parasiticus, in which a parasitic twin head with an undeveloped body is attached to the head of the developed twin."

Izzie snapped toward the small television as she heard the news. She immediately turned up the volume and stopped the conversation with her mother.

"The second head has started to cause complications for baby Julia, and a team of elite surgeons is ready at Seattle Grace to assess the baby's condition and to plan a very difficult and high risk separation surgery. The team is headed by world class husband and wife surgeons, Dr. Derek Shepherd, a neurosurgeon, and Dr. Addison Montgomery-Shepherd, a neonatal surgeon."

Izzie intently watched as the news showed the Schweiders along with Derek, Addison, and, much to Izzie's surprised, Mark, among the rest of team.

"We will continue to report the progress of this case as we get the news. This is Andrew Kempford, back to you, Brian."

Izzie leaned back against her chair.

"That's the hospital you work at?"

"Used to…. I've worked with the Shepherds."

"You worked in a good hospital, with great doctors. That's great" A hint of pride in her voice.

"They are the best. Addison offered to be me mentor, a long time ago..."

"Wow..."

"She said I had a lot of potential. I would've, very likely, been allowed to work with those people in that case... If I hadn't screwed it all up."

"You still have the potential."

"She taught me a hard lesson once, to teach me to keep my distance from a patient. I was so mad at her that I threw away the chance to learn from her."

"It's not too late you know. I don't know much about your world, but I know that you've worked very hard to get out of this world I'm in. I saw you reading those books everyday, working your ass off to get more to your life than I and this trailer park can give you. You can't give up now. It can still be you."

"I thought you hated my leaving you and this place."

"I did...for a while. I was afraid that you would forget me and where you came from, but I'm proud of you. I'm proud that my daughter grew up to be a good person, and that she's fought for her dream to become a good doctor. You can still be one, Cricket."

"But I don't know if I can...if I want... I don't know..."

-------------------------------------------------------------

One press conference, one meeting with the parents and the team, and many shotgun workups and scans later, Derek, Addison, and Mark were on their way to an exam room.

"Karev is getting the CAT scan and CT and O'Malley is on his way from the lab." Meredith informed them as they came into the room and handed the MRI result to Derek.

"Look at that..." Derek pointed at one of the slides.

"Mmm hmm..." Addison murmured.

"So you live in a trailer..." Both the Shepherds turned to Mark.

"What, I'm just saying..." Mark shrugged. "...and wondering. How the hell did you manage to fit you wardrobe in a trailer!"

"I didn't. More than half of it is still in New York."

"You left your shoes in New York!" Mark mockingly gasped. "I am shocked. I thought you'd have a severe separation anxiety being away from those shoes..."

"Oh, believe me, I did." Addison glanced at Derek, who pretended to be engrossed with the scans. "But I would not, could not, let my pretty shoes being in such close proximity with my husband's dirty boots and his other fishing gear. I'd rather have them kept safely in New York, than near slimy fish or other little creatures of the wilderness."

Derek threw a dirty look at her and it took everything in her to refrain from giving him a peck on his cheek and telling him he looked cute when he was mad.

"Perhaps I should send in the Queer Eye guys for you two. See what they can do to the trailer, give Derek a makeover or something."

Addison bit her lower lip to keep her from laughing as she watched Derek's face redden.

"That's not a bad idea actually. I could do without some of those hideous flannel shirts of his."

"Hey, you like wearing my flannel shirts!" Derek retorted back before leaning to Addison and whispered. "Especially after, you know…" He smugly grinned when she blushed.

"Plus, once we can _agree_ on a house…" He continued, raising one eyebrow at Addison. "We're getting rid of the trailer."

"You're getting rid of the trailer!" All eyes turned to Meredith, who now realized she had just blurted that out. "Forget I said that. Sorry." She looked down at the floor, wishing it would swallow her right at this moment. _"Where the hell are Alex and George!"_

"What do I know, she's been to the trailer, too, apparently." Mark smirked. "Such a love shack, that little trailer."

"That's enough, Mark!" Derek glared at him. Mark only shook his head. _This is too much fun._

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The moment Meredith had been dreading came when she came out of the bathroom stall to see Addison leaning on the sink. Addison looked up and saw her from the mirror. She continued washing her hands without saying a word.

"I'm sorry."

Addison didn't look up.

"When you asked...I didn't lie. It just happened at prom...it was wrong...I..." Meredith stammered.

"Just stop." Addison said as she turned off the faucet. "Just don't remind me. And no, you didn't really think it was wrong, did you?"

She finally looked at Meredith. "You chose him that night. You told Finn to go home. You were hoping for Derek to leave me to be with you."

"That night, no, I didn't, and I'm ashamed of that. It was wrong of me, I know now."

"He told me he fell in love with you." A trace of bitterness in Addison's voice.

"Maybe he did. Even if he did, it's not as much as he loved you...still loves you. I can never compete with you." Meredith handed Addison a napkin. She took it.

"But he can't forget you either..." Addison looked down as she dried her hands.

"That was then. He and I are over. He is staying with you...as you are." Meredith contemplated for a moment. "How do you... I'm sorry, I shouldn't..."

"No, I get that you're wondering how I can still stay with him...God, the whole hospital is as well." Addison sighed. "I've said this to you before... I don't want someone who doesn't want me, but if there's a slightest chance that he does..."

"Then you're not leaving…." Meredith nodded. "I understand."

"Do you, really...?" Addison doubted anyone understood.

"I do now. Your marriage, the love...it's something you both can't let go. He wants you...more than want you."

"I'm sorry he broke your heart." Addison said softly.

"Yeah, well, I should've known better...that when he couldn't leave you the first time, he...he could never leave you. I'm really sorry that I hurt you, Addison."

Addison nodded. "I have to go. It...it would be nice if we can keep it professional around here." She smiled a little before turning to leave.

"Hey, um... What kind of cupcakes do you like?"

"Excuse me?"

"Cupcakes. You know...the others got you store-bought stuff. I thought you'd like something homemade...different..." Meredith shrugged.

"Interns..." Addison shook her head as she chuckled. "Vanilla...vanilla with chocolate frosting."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	8. Citadel

_**Ch.8  
Citadel**_

_I'm sitting on a citadel  
Contemplating life  
Making a point to waste my time  
I'm walking on clouds of white_

_What if I fall?  
What if I don't?  
What if I never make it home?  
What if I bleed?  
What if I break?_

_I'm holding on to something  
It's keeping me from jumping  
I'm so afraid to go in alone  
And holding up this fortress  
With imaginary forces  
Longing for a life down below_

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _

Derek waited in a conference room for the rest of the team to come for a meeting. It had been a week since Julia Schweiders had arrived. After looking through her scans and discussing her condition with Addison and the Pediatric consults, the team had agreed to set the surgery date a week from today. Julia had already had two heart failures ever since her birth, one before she was brought to Seattle Grace and one three days ago. Derek felt pressure running high, along with the stress of his marriage, but he was determined to get Julia alive out of her separation surgery.

He was eating his blueberry bran muffin, courtesy of George, when Addison came into the room with a frown on her face.

"Good morning, Sunshine. You look excited for the meeting." Derek tried to lighten up her mood.

Addison tossed her files on the table and sat next to him. "Did you take my pen? I can't find my pen."

"You have pens in your pocket." Derek pointed at her lab coat.

"They're not _the_ pen, I want _the _pen. My favorite, I need it, and I can't find it anywhere."

"Did you check that big black bag of yours?"

"Yes."

"Did you check your locker?"

"Yes."

""Did you check you scrubs pocket?"

"Yes."

"Did you check my locker?"

"Yes."

"Did you check my bag?"

"Yes." She groaned in frustration.

"Hmm, so you did go through my stuffs." Derek teased.

"The pen, Derek! I checked everywhere…. It's not in the trailer, it's not in the car."

"Maybe Bigfoot took it. You said it yourself, we live in the wilderness."

She slapped his arm. "Not funny, Derek. I want my pen."

"No morning without the Shepherds' morning quarrel." They didn't notice Mark had come in until he made the comment and sat across from Derek.

"Addison can't findthe pen." Derek air quoted 'the pen'.

"Don't mock my favorite pen, I've had it for a while, it's a very nice pen." She pouted at Derek.

"What does it look like?" Derek asked.

"It's dark blue and it has these silver linings. I forgot who made it, but it's engraved…"

"Mont Blanc. It's a Mont Blanc pen, and it has this little white diamond on top." Mark stated.

"Yeah, that's it. Wait..."

"How did I know? I gave you that pen two years ago for your birthday."

Derek glared at her. "So that's _the_ pen. I can see why it's your favorite."

"Derek, it's not like that. I don't even remember it was from him."

"Yeah, I'm sure you don't."

Before Addison could say anything else, Dr. Samuel Burnett and Dr. Jason Gillman, the lead anesthesiologist and Derek's neuro consult from New York, entered the room.

"I hope you find the pen soon." Mark gloated, receiving hostile looks from the Shepherds.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Izzie Stevens stood a few feet from the hospital entrance and looked up at the tall building. She closed her eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath, and walked through the entrance. _Seattle Grace Hospital, here I am again_. Izzie had arrived back at the house yesterday morning, much to Meredith and George's delight, and after a talk with Meredith, she had agreed to meet with the Chief today. Now, she found herself sitting in front of him. He was studying her, and she had no idea what to tell him.

"How are you, Dr. Stevens?" Richard asked with concern in his voice.

Being addressed as a doctor had become a normalcy for the past six months, but it sounded foreign to her now. _I certainly don't feel like one…_

"I am…better, much better than two weeks ago. Meredith said you wanted to see me."

"Dr. Stevens, what you said at the prom two weeks ago…."

"It's true. I cut his LVAD wire so he can get the transplant. I did it to save him. I have disappointed you and Dr. Bailey and this hospital, and I understand if you cut me out of the program."

"You're not going to fight for this, Stevens? I'm not saying that we will welcome you back with open arms, but I was expecting for you to fight for your career."

"Remember what you told us on our first day? You told us that not all of the twenty interns you accepted to this surgical program will make it to the end. Some will crack under pressure and some will switch to other specialty. I'm not cut out for surgery, Dr. Webber."

"Do you want to switch to another specialty?"

"No."

Richard did not expect to hear this at all. He had expected Izzie Stevens to beg him for another chance, which he had considered giving her under certain conditions, but this Izzie Stevens, who was giving up everything she had worked so hard for, had thrown him out of the loop.

"Are you sure you want to give it all up, Dr. Stevens? Dr. Bailey, Dr. Burke, and Drs. Shepherds and I have considered giving you a second chance. You do realize what you're throwing away?"

Izzie was stunned to hear what was just said. A second chance was within her reach and all she needed to do to get it was to say she wanted it, if she wanted it.

"I am fully aware of what I'm doing, and I'm grateful that you even consider giving me another chance, but this is not for me. I get attached to my patients easily, I…"

"You have a chance to be a great surgeon if you allow yourself to learn. Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd saw a potential in you, and you reminded me of her. A young Dr. Addison Montgomery was a lot like you, tended to get emotionally attached to her patients. I did what she did to you and she learned. Look at her now, Stevens."

"But she's a gifted surgeon and I'm not. You can't deny that not everyone has got in them, she does and I don't. She saw a potential in my bedside manner, that I'm good with children and people. She didn't see a potential in my surgical talent. I'm nothing special in the OR and I don't know how to keep my distance. I may not know what to do with my life next, but I know being a surgeon is not it."

Izzie sighed. "Dr. Weber, I appreciate what you're doing, but I'm sure that I won't be continuing with the program."

Richard nodded. "It's your decision. I wish you all the best, Dr. Stevens." He stood up and offered her his hand. Izzie shook it and smiled. "Thank you, for everything."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Did you find your favorite pen yet?" Derek snidely asked as Addison caught up to him on their way to talk to the Schweiders.

"No." Addison sighed. "Derek, I'm sorry I didn't know…"

"Perhaps Mark will find it for you."

"It's just a pen."

"If it's just a pen, you wouldn't flip out when you can't find it this morning."

"I didn't even remember how I got that pen. It's just that I've had it for a while."

"Sure."

"You know what, fine! If you want to act like a four year old about this, then whatever…." Addison opened the door to the Schweiders' room and walked in without a second glance at him.

"Daniel, Vanessa." She addressed the parents who were sitting next to Julia's crib.

Daniel and Vanessa Schweiders stood up. "So, what's the update for today?" Vanessa asked anxiously.

"As you know, the surgery is still set for next week. We really can't wait much longer." Derek started.

Addison continued. "If we wait, another heart failure and a chest infection are possible. The parasitic head is growing much faster than Julia. It relies on her for blood and oxygen, and it puts pressure on Julia's brain. Persistent pressure on her brain will hinder her brain development and it can cause a permanent brain damage."

"Why don't we have a seat." Derek ushered the Schweiders to a couch in the room. He and Addison grabbed the chairs next to the crib, and sat in front of the parents before continuing.

"We've studied the information we have, and we have come up with what we believe the best procedure for this surgery, but it still bears some risks. Julia's skull is joined and her brain is fused on the left side, with a single blood system connecting her and the parasitic twin. This is how the parasitic twin gets blood and everything else it needs to grow. What we're going to do is separate the veins and arteries starting from the smallest to the largest without losing an excessive amount of blood."

Addison took her turn.

"One of our concerns is the bleeding. Because of her young age, Julia can't receive too many blood transfusions. Her liver might not be able to produce enough clotting agents to heal the wound. If that happens, she will die of bleeding."

Daniel took hold of his wife trembling hands and wrapped his other arm around her shoulder.

"What else?" His voice was shaky.

"We have scans and 3-D computer images, but nothing gives us an exact depiction of the nerves and tissues oh her brain. Because it is fused with the parasitic twin's brain, I have to separate their brain tissues and determine which belongs to whom." Derek took a deep breath. "This is extremely difficult. The slightest mishap can result in a brain damage and we won't know until after the surgery. However, Dr. Gillman, Dr. Carpenter, and I are determined to do our best to separate her without causing any damage. We set our goal on a successful surgery."

Vanessa looked at Addison. "You're not operating on her?"

Addison shook her head. "No, Vanessa. Derek and the other two neurosurgeons will operate on Julia, and Dr. Sloan and Dr. Rodgers will close up when they're finished. I won't be operating, but I will be in there with them. What happens in there will reflect how we're going to take care of her after the surgery, so the pediatrics, Dr. Allister and Dr. Hollis, and I will be in the OR the entire time."

"Thank you…for doing this, for not turning us away. We're very thankful for what you're doing for Julia, despite the difficulties and the risks" Daniel gave them a small smile.

"We're glad that you've given us this opportunity and that you trust us to help your daughter." Addison said softly.

Vanessa hesitated for a second before she spoke. "You both have been married to each other for a long time, right? You know what it's like to be a family. Other surgeons have declined us because this is impossible for them, and they didn't even want to try. They don't know what it's like to realize that you might be losing your family."

Derek and Addison shifted in their chairs and glanced at each other.

"But you're a family. You will at least try to do everything you can to save your family, won't you? We understand the odds, but all we need is for someone to try to save Julia. She's our family…we don't want to lose her."

"We understand." Addison assured the worried parents in front of her.

Derek nodded. "We're trying our best."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dr. Bailey was looking for one of her suck-ups when she passed Dr. Derek Shepherd studying a 3-D image of Julia Schweider's head on the computer in the technology room.

"Hey, have you seen Yang?"

"No, she's with Sloan, why don't you find him." Derek was still glued to the screen, his back is facing her. "When you do, might as well ask him if he's found that pen he gave Addison, which, apparently, she loves so much." Derek retorted.

"Hey, hey, hey, I am asking you a question nicely. Don't go all McPissy on me." Bailey smacked his head and that got his attention.

"What was that for!" Derek turned around to face Miranda Bailey, one hand on her hip.

"What is it with you? I thought you and Addison were improving, and I was going to go so far as to admitting that I am slightly proud of you of keeping it civil with that arrogant fool of a plastic surgeon. What did you do this time?"

"Why are you assuming I did something? Why don't you ask…" Derek didn't even consider finishing his sentence when Bailey shot daggers at him. "Addison flipped out this morning because she can't find her pen. She said it's her favorite pen and it turned out it was a pen Mark gave her for her birthday two years ago."

"And that bothers you because…."

"You should've seen her this morning! She was frantically searching for it like she's lost something really important. She claimed she didn't even remember he gave it to her until he mentioned it, but still…. It must be more than just a pen. Mark gave it to her…"

"You stupid child, when will you understand!" Miranda stepped closer.

"Why are you always on her side?" Derek protested and pushed his chair back further from Miranda.

"Because she loves you very much, and you don't even get it. So what if the pen means something for her! It still doesn't mean as much as the rings you gave her, which she has never lost, which she only takes off during surgery, only to have them pinned to her scrubs, which still grace her finger, even in the lowest time of her marriage."

Derek looked down at his hands.

"And you're not even wearing yours…." Miranda was still watching him.

He felt her stare and he knew she wouldn't leave until he said it. "You're right."

"Damn right. I'm always right."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"What do you want?" Addison begrudgingly asked when she caught Mark following her after a surgery.

"So, you found the pen yet?"

Addison rolled her eyes. "No, and I don't care."

"Derek cares."

Addison fastened her pace. "My liking that pen doesn't have anything to do with the fact that you gave it to me."

"I'm sure your husband believes that." Mark started to revel in the situation.

"Don't be a jerk, Mark."

"I'm not the one who promised you a marriage then cheated on you, Addison."

Addison had enough. "Look, giving Derek and I hell while you're here is not going to do anything. I'm not leaving him just because you decide to be an eight year old bully who picks on us."

"But you don't know if it's going to make him leave you, after all he's left you before."

"Stay out of it, Mark. What Derek and I decide to do with our marriage is none of your business." Addison stared at him angrily and left.

Mark was caught off guard when he turned around to find Cristina Yang standing behind him.

"I got Mr. Lyman's lab result and X-rays." She replied as they made their way to the patient's room.

Mark read the lab result and held up an X-ray slide when they got into the elevator. He noticed Cristina was stealing glances at him.

"Just say it Dr. Yang."

"Pardon me?"

"You heard me and Addison talking. You must have something to say. So just tell me." He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Well, if you insist…. As a human being you suck, you're lucky you're hot." Cristina gave him a little nod.

"How's your boyfriend, Dr. Yang?"

"What?"

"Your boyfriend, I heard that he was shot. How is he?"

"Oh. He's doing well." Cristina wondered where this was going.

"He's an attending here, isn't he? Famous cardiothoracic surgeon, what's his name?"

"Burke, Dr. Preston Burke. He's the head of the cardiology department here."

"Why do you think the attendings sleep with the interns around here?" Mark asked in his usual smart ass manner.

"Perhaps the same reason why an attending slept with another attending's wife, who also happens to be an attending…." Cristina flashed him a little smile.

They rode the rest of the ride in silence.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Derek walked into the locker room and found Addison folding her scrubs in front of her locker.

"Hey." He moved to his locker next to hers.

Addison threw a glance toward him and went back to putting her scrubs in her locker. She took out her lab coat and put it on without a word to her husband.

"I'm sorry I was upset earlier." He took her hair out of the collar as she straightened out her blouse.

"Here…." Derek handed a pen to her, _the_ pen. "I asked a nurse at the nurse's station if she's seen it. You left it there."

Addison took the pen. "Thank you." She whispered and put the pen in her lab coat's pocket. "I wouldn't throw it in your face had I known it was from him."

"I know…."

She sat down on the bench and took a box out of her locker.

"You can have a cupcake." She put the box on the bench while he changed into his scrubs and took a bite out of her own cupcake.

He took one after he was done. "Hmm, this is good. Who bought it for you? I got my muffins today."

"Meredith baked these for me, Izzie's recipe." She said casually.

"Mere…what…Meredith baked you cupcakes!" He sat down next to her, dumbfounded.

"Mmm hmm. We agreed to keep it professional and as an intern she sucked up to me, her boss, with cupcakes, vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting." She continued eating her cupcake.

"Your favorite."

"Yeah." She remained silent for a minute. "You broke her heart." She said softly, staring at her shoes.

"I did…" He whispered. "I broke yours, too."

She faced him. "As I did yours."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too." Addison took another bit of her cupcake. "We've been doing rather good, don't you think? With him and her and us being here…."

"Yeah." Derek chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"Come here, you've got…" Derek pointed on her face and motioned for her to come closer. "You've got chocolate frosting on your face."

Addison scooted over and Derek got some frosting on his finger and smeared it on her nose.

"Derek! Oh no you didn't…."

She grabbed his arm and managed to smash her cupcake onto his face before he can get away.

"Addison Forbes…"

Derek grabbed her waist when she stood up and pulled her onto his lap. Addison giggled when she felt the frosting on her cheek and tried to wiggle her way out of his grasp. She grabbed another cupcake from the box and turned around in his arms to smudge some frosting on his forehead. They playfully fought to smear each other with chocolate frosting for a while before Addison begged him to stop.

"Derek!" She managed to say through her laughter. "I still have patients to see."

"Honey, you never looked better." Derek laughed at his wife.

She laughed again when she saw his face. "You think they would still call you McDreamy if you walk out like this?"

Derek leaned to kiss her softly. He pulled back to look into her eyes, it was the first time he kissed her since prom. She smiled and he kissed her again and she kissed him back. Derek put his forehead against hers and groaned when one of their pagers interrupted their moment.

"That's me." Addison sighed as she looked down at her pager.

Derek brought her chin up to face him and wiped the frosting off her face with his clean hand. She did the same to his face.

"Alright, Babe, all clean." Derek gave her a goofy smile.

"You, too." Addison giggled and got up from his lap.

"Would you put the box in my locker, please? There are still some good cupcakes there." She asked as she brushed some crumbs off her clothes.

"Okay." She had only taken a few steps toward the door when he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him. "Hey…."

"Hmm?"

"I missed a spot." He kissed the tip of her nose.

She grinned. "I'll see you later." She gave him a quick kiss before exiting the room.

---------------------------------------------------

Alright, a lot of medical jargons, I know, but the msn chatters voted 'yay' for that explanation, so there it is. Discovery Health Chanell happened to air a show on that medical case, yay for me. The cute cuddly happy kissing Addek at the end, that is at the request of Kendel, so there's your icing fight scene, Ken. Mark and Cristina was a request from someone else, I don't remember exactly who. Izzie, yes, she no longer works in the hospital, but don't worry, she's got something else to do in later chapters. I hope you guys enjoy! Review and make me happy, will ya :)


	9. Hear Me

_**Ch.10**_

_**Hear me**_

_I used to be scared of letting someone in  
But it gets so lonely being on my own  
With no one to talk to and no one to hold me  
I'm not always strong, oh, I need you here  
_

_Are you listening?_

_   
I'm crying out. I'm ready now  
Turn my world upside down  
Find me, I'm lost inside the crowd  
It's getting loud, I need you to see  
I'm screaming for you to please hear me_

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"One Belgian waffle with maple syrup to go, please." Meredith told the lady behind the counter.

She was putting her wallet back in her purse when she ran into a person's chest.

"Oh, I'm so sorry…." She stopped when she looked up and saw who was in front of her. "Finn…. Oh…. Hi…. I'm sorry I wasn't looking…." She stammered.

"That's alright." He gave her a small smile. "So…. You found your way to Seattle's best waffle shop. Excuse me." Finn held up a hand and spoke to the lady. "I would like the usual please."

"You go here often?" She asked after he had paid.

"Yes, I do." He sat down at an empty table. "Would you like to have a seat?"

"Um…sure…." Meredith went to sit in front him.

"How are you, Meredith?"

"Good. I've been busy actually. There is a big case at the hospital."

"I saw that on the news. Derek is handling that…with Addison." He stared at her.

"Yeah, they are." She looked him in the eyes. "I'm sorry about what happened. I never meant to…."

"I should've known better anyway. I knew you weren't just friends with him."

"I should've known better, too. Derek and I were never going to work out, it's a long story." Meredith sighed. "But I really am sorry that I hurt you."

Finn nodded. "How is your friend, Izzie?"

"She's…she's still working on getting over it."

"It's going to take a while."

"I know…." Meredith chuckled. "I found this place with her. I took three days off after that night, after the drama with Derek. We went around Seattle and came here one morning."

"It sounds like things really got messy with you and Derek, didn't they?"

"They did. Like I said, it's a long story…. You were right when you said I am scary and damaged." Meredith shook her head. "You're not going to believe this…."

"What?" Finn tilted his face to the side.

"The interns are doing a full blown sucking up to Derek and Addison to get into the OR for the big surgery. Izzie suggested that I get Addison the waffle from this shop. She thinks this waffle will score me some major suck up points."

He laughed. "Really? To Addison?"

"We're keeping it civil at work. We're not friends, but we don't exactly hate each other. And as an intern, who is sucking up to her boss, I baked her cupcakes and I'm bringing her a waffle."

"I think Izzie's right, this waffle might get you into the OR." He grinned.

"Thanks." She smiled.

Her order was called and Meredith went to get her waffle.

"Anyway, it's nice to talk to you again, Finn." She said when she got back to the table.

"It is." He stood up from his chair. "I come here several times a week, if you happen to come here again and I happen to be here, maybe we can talk more. Tell me the long story if you want."

"Be friends?"

"Yeah, be friends." He nodded.

"I don't know about that." She laughed. "It didn't go to well the last time I tried to be friends with a guy I was involved with."

"Well, I have no other intention than being a friend, so it's up to you." Finn shrugged. "Good luck on that case, Meredith."

"Thank you." She smiled. "Maybe I'll see you again one of these days…as friend."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Addison closed the door to the on call room quietly and placed the box she was carrying on the table next to the bunk bed.

"Wake up, Sleepyhead." She said as she ruffled Derek's hair.

"Not yet…." He groaned and turned to face the wall.

Addison poked him. "Wake up, wake up, wake up…."

"No…." Derek moved closer to the wall.

"I have a very good breakfast from the suck up." Addison patted his stomach.

He mumbled something inaudible while his eyes were still closed.

"A Belgian waffle with maple syrup from Seattle's best waffle shop." Addison took the pillows from under Derek's head and propped them up.

"Addie!" He protested.

Addison kissed his cheek. "You big baby, it's time to get up!"

Derek reluctantly sat halfway up against the pillows and pouted. "Satan…."

She laughed and joined him on the bed. "Here, you need something to eat." She fed him a piece of the waffle. "How is it?"

"Good…." He said grumpily.

"You're rather cranky…." She took a bite herself.

"You woke me up." His voice still gruff, but he snuggled up to her and opened his mouth for another bite of waffle from his wife.

"We should make a list for the suck ups." She said while eating her waffle. "I would love a free breakfast every morning."

Derek leaned into her but Addison pulled back and moved the waffle away from him.

"Not another food fight, Derek." She said pointedly.

Derek pulled her into a kiss. "You got a little bit of syrup in the corner."

"Thank you." She fed him another piece. "I would prefer not to be covered in sticky maple syrup."

"I can always kiss it off for you…" He smirked.

Addison playfully slapped his chest with the back of her hand. "No sticky syrup, please!"

Derek nuzzled closer to her. "No fun…." He grumbled.

"Oh please!" She scoffed.

Derek took her left hand and started to kiss the syrup off of her fingers. "So, we got down to three houses…."

"Two." She mumbled as she chewed on her waffle. "I'm vetoing the one on Barnes St."

"Wha…" She shoved a piece into his mouth. "Why?"

"It's too Desperate Housewives-ish, if we get that house…." She took a bite of her breakfast. "…the neighbors are going to think Bree Van de Kamp just move in."

"But I like that one…" He growled.

"Vetoed." She then kissed him. "You've got syrup, too..."

He held her hand on his chest. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Addison turned to face him.

"Remember how you asked me, how did I do it when I packed and left you in New York?" His voice softened.

"Yeah…." She whispered and put the box away.

"How did you do it when you drew up the divorce papers?"

They stared at each other for a moment and Addison took a deep breath. Just as she was about to speak, the door swung open.

"Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt the breakfast in bed." Mark said at the startled Shepherds. "How very adorable!"

The door started to close but Mark popped his head back inside the room. "You know, Addison used to bring _me_ breakfast like that…. _After _you left."

Mark slammed the door closed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Preston Burke was not expecting company that noon. His hands trembled as he buttoned up his shirt.

"What are you doing here?" He asked when he saw Cristina walked into their bedroom.

"You have your first therapy session in an hour." She replied.

"So?"

"So…" She walked toward him. "I'm going with you, so you don't have to take a cab there."

She was about to help him with the shirt but he refused. "I can do it…."

"Fine." She said in a huff.

"You have an important surgery to get into in two days, aren't you supposed to be at the hospital?" Burke said when finally got his shirt buttoned up.

"Seriously!" Cristina was baffled.

"It's a rare case and it's a great opportunity for you…."

"This is me being supportive…. I'm coming to your first therapy."

"I'll be fine…." He let out an exasperated sigh.

She turned to leave when Burked called out. "Where are you going?"

She raised her eyebrows as she looked at him. "I'm going back to the hospital! You said you'll be fine."

"But you're here already…."

"And…?" She shrugged.

"Might as well…."

"Go with you?" She crossed her arms.

Preston looked at her sheepishly. "Well, you don have to if you want to work on the case…but you know…since you're here…"

"Okay, do you want me to go with you or not!" Cristina grew impatient. "Tell me."

He sighed. "I want you to go with me."

"Good." She nodded. "Then I'll come with you."

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Derek paced the linoleum floor quickly. This morning's revelation that Addison had stayed with Mark after he left New York had left him furious. He stopped dead in his track when Addison appeared in front of him just as she turned the corner.

"Did you feed Mark lunch, too?" His voice seething.

"Stop it, Derek!" She demanded as they walked to Julia Schweider's room.

"You stayed with him."

"You left me."

"You didn't tell me."

"You never wanted to talk."

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

"Were you ever going to listen to me?"

They looked at each other angrily for a while before Derek opened the door to Julia's room.

"Daniel, Vanessa, good afternoon." He greeted the Schweiders.

"Hey Docs." Daniel greeted him and Addison.

"What's the news for the day?" Vanessa asked.

"Julia is responding well to the meds we gave her. She's much stronger and ready for the surgery." Addison spoke.

"Everything else is ready as well. We'll have a run through in the OR tomorrow, just so everybody is clear on what they're supposed to do." Derek explained.

"So everything is good?" Daniel asked nervously.

"So far, everything is according to plan. The surgery is a go." Derek assured the parents.

Vanessa breathed a sigh of relief. "That's good to hear."

"Is there anything else you would like to know?" Addison asked.

Daniel looked at his wife, who nodded, before answering. "No, you've explained everything there is to us. We're okay for now. Thank you again for doing this."

Derek and Addison smiled and nodded.

"By the way, I think these might be yours." Vanessa handed them a stack of realtor papers about the houses Derek and Addison were interested in. "I found it on the couch this morning and the nurses said you might have left it last night."

Addison took the papers and smiled politely. "Yeah, that's ours, thank you."

"You're getting a new house, how exciting!" Daniel's voice lightened up.

"Once we can agree on one." Addison rolled her eyes.

"If she can just stop on vetoing the ones I like." Derek said curtly.

"He picked a house that looks like a haunted house!" She glared at him.

"All she cares about is a big closet!" He glared back at her.

"Aww, you're arguing about the houses, you guys are so cute!" Vanessa grinned.

"I remembered having this very same fight with Vanessa." Daniel chimed in.

Vanessa added. "Yeah, then once we got the house, we can't stop bickering about what to do with it."

"She wanted carpet, I wanted hard wood. Then the paint colors, the furniture…."

Derek and Addison stood awkwardly as the Schweiders gave their two cents.

"And you feel like you just want to kill each other…"

"Oh you have_ no _idea…." Derek and Addison said in unison, giving each other anotherr hostile look.

"But once you finally settle in the right house, it's worth all the fighting. I'm sure you already know this." Daniel smiled at them.

"Anyway, I'm sorry we rambled about this. Good luck on the house!" Vanessa ended the chatter.

"Thank you." Derek and Addison tried to give a decent smile at the Schweiders before leaving the room.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Addison was sitting in the empty conference room, listing the nurses and doctors who were going to be present during Julia's surgery and reviewing the baby's medical history. Her peace and quiet ended when the last person she wanted to see walked in. Mark Sloan, smart ass extraordinaire and ruiner of what was a nice breakfast in bed with her husband, sat at the end of the table across from her.

"You are such an ass! When the hell have I ever brought you breakfast!" She was infuriated.

Mark remained silent.

"Derek has the biggest surgery in his entire career in two days and you got him all worked up. More stress and distraction, just what he needs.…"

"What are you doing still with him?" Mark finally spoke up.

"It's none of your business."

"I still care about you!" Mark clenched his jaw.

"That doesn't give you the permission to butt in your cocky ass into my marriage!" She slammed her pen on the table.

"I don't get why you're still staying with him after what he's done to you."

"It's my choice, not yours."

"There are other men who would love you and treat you the way you deserved…."

"I don't want other men."

"Does he want you?"

"He does." She stared angrily at him. "That is until you stuck your stupid head into the room this morning. "

"You can't keep it from him forever, anyway." He shifted in his chair. "He deserves to know."

"By me telling him, not you!"

"Were you ever going to tell him?"

"I was." She sighed. "We were doing pretty well. I was ready to tell him."

"Do you think he would've reacted differently?"

"I'll never find out, will I? Thanks to you." Addison rested her head in one hand. "Just leave, Mark."

She looked up to him. "If you still care, leave me and Derek alone."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Dirty mistresses unite…."

Meredith slightly jumped at the husky voice directed at her. "Mark."

"Double scotch, single malt." He told Joe and sat on the barstool next to her.

"How are you?" Meredith turned to him. "Everybody was pretty grouchy today, Derek, Addison…"

"Don't ask."

"And you."

Mark glanced at her while nursing his glass of scotch. "Long day…."

"You're not here to wait for Addison again, are you?" She asked quizzically.

"I got the memo last time." He stared coldly at his drink.

"For a while, I thought you were still after her."

"I still care."

"I know."

Mark turned to her. "How are you? With this thing…."

"I'm getting over it." She gave him a small smile.

"That's good." He returned the smile.

"I still care, too."

"I know."

Mark asked Joe for another round before he continued. "I just… I hate it when she's unhappy."

"But she is happy."

"Her husband slept with another woman…. You." He gave her a nod. "And you're telling me she's happy?"

"That she's not happy about, but…." She sighed. "I think she's happy that her husband is actually trying…"

"You're okay with this?"

"I told you I'm getting over it." Meredith nodded. "They're happy…except for today…."

"I might have something to do with that…." He winced.

"I figured."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Derek lay still, staring at the ceiling with hands rested on his stomach, on top of a medical journal he was studying for Julia's surgery. His argument with Addison this afternoon kept replaying in his head.

His gaze moved toward the bathroom when he heard the door open and Addison got out. She leaned back against the entrance to their bedroom and watched him observed her for a moment before she came to the bed. She lay on her back with hands resting on her stomach. They remained silent for a few minutes, barely touching each other, staring at the ceiling.

"You can't go on like this." Addison started. "You can't go into the OR unfocused."

"Is that why it took you so long to come to Seattle?"

"Meredith took you so long to come back to New York."

"You cheated on me."

"You ignored me because of your work. I became nothing to you."

"It's not an excuse for you to sleep with him."

"You think I don't know? You think I don't regret that, Derek?"

"You didn't become 'nothing' to me."

"But I wasn't everything to you…anymore."

Silence consumed the room.

"You want to know how I did it when I drew up those papers? After you left, I waited for you to come back…hoped that you'd come back, but you never showed."

"I was licking a big wound."

"You never picked up my calls, but I kept calling anyway just to hear your voice on the voicemail…because I missed you so much."

Addison took a deep breath to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. "Mark was there…saying all the things I've longed to hear from you, how I was loved and wanted. He said all these things…how you didn't love me anymore and I should move on with my life just like you already did with yours."

"And you believed him!" Bitterness was evident in his voice.

Addison turned on her side, her back to him, while Derek remained still.

"Richard called not long after you left and asked me to come to see you. I told him we were having problems and you just needed sometime alone before you can see me again, but he kept insisting for me to come to Seattle soon. I made him tell me why he was so desperate to have me here…and he admitted that he'd heard rumors about you seeing someone, an intern…her."

Her voice started to break. "That's when I realized that you weren't coming back…that you've moved on, so I stayed with him to try to get over you. I drew up the papers because I thought you didn't want me anymore, you wanted us to end."

Derek turned to face the wall on his side of the room. "You still came." His voice hoarse.

"To see you for one last time…to apologize in person. I thought if we had to end, at least I would hand you the papers myself."

"But you stayed with him…. You…you believed him…." He closed his eyes in frustration. "The image of you and him…."

"Try to get some sleep, Derek. You need a lot of rest before the surgery." She said softly.

Derek turned the light off and tried to get a good night sleep, which he found unfeasible this time around.

The next morning, Addison woke up alone in the trailer.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Here's a little story behind the waffle scene: it is another one of Kendel's request. I knew all along that Derek was going to find out in this chapter but I had a different scene in mind, then we got talking about waffle and she wanted another happy cute cuddly kissing Addek scene involving waffle, hence the waffle scene. Then there is Mark, ruiner of the waffle scene. You can slap him if you want, I don't mind.

This chapter hated me, it didn't want to be written and I found it rather "eh" and "blah". I hope you like it, if you don't then I'm really sorry. Review, please, and tell me what you think.


	10. Julia

I still don't own them, and the song is by Our Lady Peace.

_**Ch.10  
Julia**_

_Can you see her standing there  
Well she's trying to find just anywhere_

_Drowning in her own visions  
When she's begging the past to stay behind_

_Offered is advice to you  
You left, but I don't blame you_

_Digging up the past to cross that line  
To bury it one last time_

_Offered is advice to you and all you do was fake it  
I know there's pain inside this truth but you just have to face it_

_I know there's pain inside, there's Julia_

**6:00 am**

"Today is the day; OR 1 is a full house. Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, Dr. Sloan, and Dr. Burnett, the anesthesiologist, are the only doctors who will stay inside until it is finished. The others will come and go as they might be needed outside that OR throughout the day."

Dr. Miranda Bailey lectured her four anxious interns.

"All four of you have been requested…."

Miranda watched four excited smiles form on her interns' faces.

"However, you will rotate. Only two of you will be in OR 1 at one time, unless they ask for more assistance. Otherwise, you'll switch whenever I send in the next person. While you're in there, you will listen to Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd. If she tells you to stand back and watch, you will watch and will not protest to anything she or Dr. Shepherd tells you to do. You will go near the table only if she tells you to do so, understood!"

Four 'Yes, Dr. Bailey's were heard.

"Karev and O'Malley, you're the first two. Grey and Yang, you come with me. Learn and do not make any mistakes! If you upset one of those doctors, I will see to it that you will suffer so bad that you wished you were in hell instead."

Bailey glared at the four doctors one last time before getting ready for rounds.

**6:23 am**

Addison gave some last words of assurance to Daniel and Vanessa Schweider and watched them as they said a tearful prayer and kissed their daughter. She studied the little baby as they wheeled her through the quiet hall. Julia had been fighting for her life ever since she was born, and now her young life depended on her and husband's hands. This was an extremely difficult procedure but Julia had a chance of surviving, and they were willing to try to save her. _If only Derek shared the same sentiment toward our marriage…. _It was difficult, to rebuild their marriage and to cut off Mark and Meredith, but they had a chance of making it. _We just need to give it a try…together…_

**6: 30 am**

Derek stood tall in front of the sink, looking straight to OR 1. He watched the commotion through the glass: the nurses gathered the instruments and supplies, the anesthesiologists, Dr. Burnett and Dr. Jefferson, set up their drugs and equipment, the rest of the doctors, including Mark, having their gloves and robe put on. All of the hard work he put into his job had led him to this day. He had spent the last two days preparing for this surgery and altogether avoiding his wife. Addison seemed to understand that he needed to focus and had left him alone, but her revelation two nights ago stayed at the back of his mind.

He saw Julia Schweider being wheeled and prepped into the room.

"You're ready?" Addison asked him when she entered the scrub room. He can hear the worry in her voice.

"I am." He kept his eyes straight into the OR.

"I know you can do this, Derek." She said softly.

"You're ready?" His voice rid of emotion.

"I am."

"Good."

He tied his mask and turned on the sink, she did the same.

"Look, Derek." Addison started.

"I can't have you shut me out again and again whenever things get tough between us. It's only going to get tougher if we truly want to work through this. I've made appointment with the realtor to see the first house we agreed on, the one on Atlas Dr., this Saturday at ten in the morning. It's the first time off we have in two weeks."

She took a deep breath. "If you can't get past this, if you feel that this is too hard too hurtful, then….then don't show, and I'll be house hunting for a house of my own. If you decide you still want to fight for us, then show and we'll be picking our house together."

Neither was looking at each other as they continued scrubbing their hands.

"This is it, Derek. I'm not going to remind you again, either you show and I'll stay, or you don't show…and I'll leave."

Addison turned the sink off and Derek's stare followed her into the OR. He shook his head, trying to shake off his personal life out of his mind.

"Hello, everybody! It's a beautiful morning to save a life, let's get started." He greeted the room as usual when he walked in.

**7:12 am**

Addison remained calm as she observed Derek and his two consults mark Julia's head. The OR was relatively quiet, free from the inevitable chaos she knew would descend in the room soon or later. Her pediatric team stood on her left, Karev and O'Malley to her right, Mark and his consult next to the interns, and a few nurses stood back at the other sides of the room.

For a few seconds before he started, Derek locked his eyes with hers.

"Scalpel." He ordered.

A nurse handed him the instrument and he made the first incision.

**11:48 am **

Addison sat on a stool with her two consults on her left and Mark on her right, all of them were busy jotting down some notes.

Dr. Kenneth Hollis next to Addison felt his pager vibrated. "I have to go, I'll be back later." He whispered to Addison.

"Alright." She gave him a small smile.

"Almost five hours…. At least five more to go…." Mark whispered to her as he stretched in his seat.

"Yeah." She whispered back.

The sliding door opened and Meredith Grey entered into the room and Addison motioned for the intern to sit on the empty stool.

"What's going on?" Meredith asked.

"They removed some bones from her skull to be used to close her up later and turned her over to operate from the other side. Right now, they're cutting of the smaller veins and arteries that connect the two heads." She informed. "Yang just went up there, you'll get your chance soon."

**11:55 am**

"Have I told you about your replacement in New York?" Mark asked her while scribbling on his notes.

"No." She kept her eyes on the monitor.

"She sucks."

Addison chuckled. "You hate my replacement?"

"She's from Long Island. She's too chirpy. She laughs like Janice on Friends."

She tried to suppress a laugh. "Seriously?"

"She is bossy. She has the ugliest shoes. You are surely missed, Addison."

**12:03 pm**

Derek occasionally glanced at his wife and former bestfriend sitting several feet across from where he was standing. They were conversing with each other in a low whisper and he swore he saw Addison almost laughed at one point or two. Derek was not happy at what he saw.

"Yang, get Addison for me, please."

"Do you need something?" Addison asked as she stood next to him.

"How's she?"

"One transfusion, minor bleeding, stabilized. She is pretty good. How about you?"

"I'm almost done with the small vessels. We'll get the two large ones after we separate her brain tissues."

"You're doing very well, Derek." She patted his shoulder. "Do you need anything else?"

"You can't wait to go back to your chit chat?" He hissed.

"What!" She whispered.

"You're rather cozy with him, aren't you? I can see you talking to him and giggling like a school girl." He whispered back

Addison stepped closer, as to at least try, to keep the conversation away from the prying nurses and doctors.

"First, I do not giggle like a school girl. That would be your intern fawning over your so called McDreamy-self, which, you are so far from being it these last two days. Second, now you're just getting a taste of your own medicine. Think of those times I was here to watch you lust after her, throwing her glances and smiles and giggling like a school boy."

She scorned into his ear and went back to her seat.

**1:19 pm**

"Derek…." Jason Gillman, Derek's colleague from New York who stood on his left, spoke with an alarmed voice.

Derek kept his composure. "Grey, more suction. Yang, give me more light."

"It's not there…." Jason muttered under his breath.

"What's going on?" Addison said as she approached the other end of the operating table.

"There is a section we saw in the 3-D image from the computer, with her nerves and tissues…." Derek brushed off the surging panic. "…and we can't find it."

"You can't find it…." She repeated.

"I'm looking." His voice undeterred, but Addison knew this was enough to unnerve him.

"What happen if…" Meredith, standing on his right, contemplated if she should continue.

"…if you can't find it?" Cristina, next to Meredith, finished the question she, too, was wondering.

"We're distinguishing which tissues and nerves belong to Julia, and we won't know any damage she might have until she wakes up. But if we can't find this plane, she will lose a section of her brain tissues, a sure guarantee of a brain damage." Jason explained.

The staff member in the room threw nervous glances at each other as Derek uttered a few expletives.

"Derek…"

"I remembered where it was…." A slight worry in his voice.

"Good air in. Bad air out." She said calmly and Derek did what she said.

"I can't get to it."

"Keep trying."

He glanced at her briefly before going back to work.

"I still don't see it." Jason stated a few minutes later.

"I don't either, but it has to be somewhere…."

"Damn…."

Dreadful silence enveloped the OR as Derek and Jason grimly searched for what they were looking for.

"Try a little to the left, Jase…." Derek instructed.

Almost fifteen minutes later, he let out a relieved sigh.

"There it is…."

**1:45 pm**

The panic had subsided as Derek, now with Greg Carpenter—Seattle Grace's second best neurosurgeon—smoothly separated the next section of Julia's fused brain.

Dr. Troy Rodgers, Seattle Grace's best reconstructive plastic surgeon, took his leave when his pager beeped.

"He's a little inexperienced." Mark whispered.

"I don't like him very much."

He raised an eyebrow. "Really…."

"He could use a nice deodorant and cologne, don't you think?"

"True."

"He acts as if he's above all when I know, and Derek knows, that he's not all that. If he is, you wouldn't be here." She said casually.

"That might explain why he's a tad uncivil toward me."

"He's took the last chocolate pudding at the cafeteria one time. We reached for it at the same time and he grabbed it anyway. What a gentleman…" She mocked.

"I hate your replacement and you hate the plastic guy here. How ironic…" Mark said amused.

**1:49 pm**

"Suction."

Meredith did as she was told.

Derek looked up to Addison and Mark, who he had noticed were frequently talking in a low voice throughout the hours.

"What were they talking about?" He whispered to Meredith.

"Excuse me?"

"When you were sitting with them, what did they talk about?"

Meredith glanced at Addison and Mark.

"Nothing…. Just something about some doctors in New York." She whispered back.

He can't shake off the irate feeling at the sight of his wife talking with her former lover.

"They're probably talking about me now."

"They're probably not." She was getting annoyed.

"Like you know for sure…."

"Like _you_ know for sure…. You're not there to listen either!" She hissed.

"Look at them talking and smiling like it's nobody's business." Derek was a jealous man, yes he was.

"You're making something out of nothing, get over yourself!" Meredith was seriouslyannoyed.

"Yang, why don't you take over." He spoke in a normal voice to Cristina, who had replaced Cristina. "Grey, you can have a seat for now."

"Unbelievable!" She murmured as Cristina took her place next to Derek.

Meredith sat down next to Addison and crossed her arms.

"What did you do?" Addison asked when she noticed the aggravated look on the intern's face.

"Nothing." She shrugged it off.

**2:11 pm**

Meredith sat in her seat quietly, half watching the procedure on the TV screen and half overhearing Addison and Mark's small talk about nothing in particular. Derek had thrown glances at them every now and then, and she can't help but wondered if either Addison or Mark were aware of any of his death glares.

"Seriously, you did nothing and he sent you back! You haven't even been up there that long." Addison startled the intern.

"He fussed over you and Mark talking." She admitted.

"I figured that's what the glares are for."

"Ah, you noticed." Meredith laughed a bit. "I told him to get over it and he sent me back."

"He's such a child." Addison rolled her eyes.

"What about cases?" Mark continued their nonsense conversation.

"Oh, New York definitely has better cases…except for this."

"Agreed, but this case will follow you no matter where you work. Food?"

"New York."

"Not anymore."

"What gives?" She wrote some medical terms in her notes.

"They cut the budget not long after you left and the food went to crap. You have better food here. Gossip?"

"Hmm, depends." She looked up and watched the busy nurses and surgeons in front of her. "If you're talking about how people gossip about yourself and how fast the news travel, then Seattle Grace wins hands down. If you're talking about gossip on the other doctors, New York has juicier stories, but that's most likely because Derek and I are the main provider of the gossip around here." She said sarcastically.

"If you haven't already known, we're the Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie of this hospital. They talk about us…they gawk on us…."

"Right…. You are deprived of juicy gossip on other people…."

Meredith was rather pissed at Derek for sending her back to her seat for something ludicrous, so she leaned into Addison and Mark.

"Nurse Debbie was eavesdropping on Dr. Jackson and Dr. Peters by a door, and someone opened it form the inside and hit her quite hard."

The two attendings turned their heads to her with a perplexed look on their face.

"You need gossip on other people." She shrugged. "It was sad about her getting hit and all, but everybody knew she's the hardcore gossip nurse so people laughed at her anyway…."

"I wished I was there to see that. I always have the feeling that petty nurse doesn't like me very much." Addison remarked.

"She said you stole her Christmas catalogue, maybe that's why…." Meredith suggested.

"You stole a nurse's Christmas catalogue! Come on, Addison…" Mark teased.

"Hey, it didn't have 'Nurse Debbie' written on it! I didn't know…." Addison defended herself.

The three of them continued to chat and Meredith smugly smirked when he caught Derek shooting daggers at the three of them.

**6: 07 pm**

Almost all the surgeons and all four interns are lined up along the operating table as the surgery neared the finish line. Derek had only need to separate the Venus Sinus, the largest artery connecting the two heads, and Julia will be a normal baby with one head—if the artery did not burst and send her bleeding to death.

Pressure remained high in the room.

"She has had three times of her blood volume replaced. She might not survive another one." Addison warned Derek.

He nodded and began his task.

**6:56 pm**

"Clamp."

O'Malley handed him the instrument.

"Damnit!"

Chaos erupted in the room as soon as the word came out of Derek's mouth and everyone in the gallery shot up at the bloody image on the screen and the uproar below them.

"She's losing too much blood too fast!"

The doctors shouted the baby's condition and yelled instructions.

"BP's dropping!"

The interns scurried to give suction to clear off any cavity from blood.

"Heart rate's slowing!"

The nurses scampered to hand towels to the surgeons and to grab bags of IVs and blood units.

"Move it, people!"

Addison yelled out for some meds to be put in.

"Put another unit of blood!" Derek shouted.

"Careful about that, Derek!"

"Addison!"

"I'm just reminding you!"

"She will die now without more blood!"

"Then stop the bleeding!"

"I'm trying! The meds aren't working!"

The other staff members were too flustered and frantic with the mayhem of the situation to stop and gape at the Shepherds as they usually would.

"BP's starting going up." George exclaimed.

"Heart rate's coming up slowly." Alex followed.

Derek shook his head in frustration. "She's still bleeding profusely."

"She's been under for almost twelve hours, she's very weak." The anesthesiologist called out.

"You've got to speed it up!" Mark spoke.

"You think I'm not trying hard enough, Mark!" The nervousness had aggravated him.

"She can't stay under much longer. If you don't hurry I won't have enough time to close her up properly." Mark tried to remain calm.

"He's right, Derek." Addison said.

"Great, you're in his side…." Derek retorted.

The pandemonium intensified when, once more, the loud beeping monitors rang through the room and more shouting and yelling we heard in the room.

"She is losing pressure again!"

"BP and heart rate are dropping fast!"

"We're losing her!"

"I need another unit of blood." Derek yelled out much to the protest of Addison and Mark.

The three of them stared at each defiantly with panic and frustration plastered all over their faces.

"We don't have a lot of time." Mark spoke up first.

"You have got to figure out something else, Derek." Addison's voice desperate.

"I am trying, Addison!" He clenched his jaw.

"Try harder, Derek." She pleaded.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

This chapter and I loathe each other with passion. Hatehate... Review and tell me what you think, please.


	11. What More Do You Want

_**Ch. 11**_

_**What More Do You Want**_

_Tell me what's wrong, tell me what's right_

_Tell me how you want me to do it tonight_

_Tell me what you want, tell me what you need_

_Tell me what's wrong, tell me what's right_

_What more do you want  
What more do you want  
What more do you want from me_

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Izzie put bags of groceries in the back of the car. Getting groceries for the house was the least she could do for George and Meredith, who had gotten busier due to the Schweider's case. She missed the hospital, but held on to her decision to end her surgical residency. What she would do with her life next remained unknown, but she knew for sure she couldn't work in the same hospital Denny had died at.

Izzie jumped when she felt a hand on her arms.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you…" A woman holding a sleeping baby spoke.

"Can I help you?" She asked carefully, noticing the wrinkled clothes and the disheveled appearance of the woman and her child, and the bruises and fresh cut on the woman's face and arms were not to be missed.

The woman looked around nervously as if she was afraid that someone would recognize her. "I'm wondering if…if you could give me and my baby a ride to a women shelter…any shelter, we just need someplace safe…"

Izzie saw the fear in the woman's eyes and could hear desperation in her voice. "Okay, I'll take you." She gave her a small smile.

"Thank you so much for helping us." The woman said when she and the baby got into the backseat. "I'm Karen and this is Connor."

"I'm Isobel, but you can call me Izzie." She pulled out of the parking lot. "Do you mind if I ask you what happened?"

Izzie noticed Karen shifted in her seat through the mirror. "You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to. It's just that you have…. Do you want me to take you the hospital?" She couldn't help but worried.

"No, the shelter would be just fine. I'm fine, it's not a big deal."

Izzie drove on in silence for several minutes; she didn't want to push the woman into talking if she wasn't ready. Karen studied the young woman driving the car for a while before she decided to continue.

"My husband…he drinks a lot…and…and when he drinks, he…he loses control..."

She stopped briefly to wipe her tears. "I can't stay there any longer. I uh…I'm afraid that soon or later, he'll hit Connor, too. I can't have that happen…so I ran away. Then I saw you, and you seem like a nice person. I'm sorry I troubled you…."

"No, no, don't be sorry. I'm glad I could help." She smiled through the mirror before pulling into the women shelter she used to pass by on the way to the hospital.

"Oh you don't have to get out, I can go in by myself." Karen said when she saw Izzie was about to get out of the car.

"It's okay, I want to. I want to make sure you get those bruises and cuts taken care of…." She hesitated for a second. "I'm a doctor."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"That was the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed." Cristina remarked. "Brain exposed, heads separated, blood…."

"I can't believe Shepherd pulled it off." Alex shook his head.

"Seriously…. I thought the Shepherds and Sloan were gonna bite each other's head off." George lowered his voice.

"I think they still might…." Meredith tilted her head toward the glass separating the OR, where they were cleaning up, and the scrub room, where Derek, Addison, and Mark could bee seen were bickering with each other as they scrubbed out.

"Why is everyone so…angry? Did I miss something?" George asked.

"Derek's jealous over Addison and Mark talking to each other during the surgery." Meredith explained.

"And _you_ pissed him off even more by joining the conversation…." Cristina reminded.

"Hey, he pissed off me first! He sent me back to my seat just because I told him to get over it!" She said bitterly.

"True, that was ridiculous, but I got to stand there longer…." Cristina grinned.

"I'm trying to read lips here!" Alex said as he glanced to the scrub room. "Dude, Sloan is not happy he has to do a second surgery to finish the reconstruction…. I have to get in on that."

The four interns discreetly stared through the glass to watch the three attendings mouthing things they couldn't hear.

"What's Derek saying? 'At least the baby's alive' That's true…." George chimed in.

"Yeah, but Addison is right, his part is over, now it's all on her to keep Julia alive. Too much transfusion may cause her liver to produce not enough coagulant….. She-Shepherd is pretty upset…." Cristina observed.

"But what can you do, she would die, too, without that last unit." Alex said.

"Yeah it could go either way. I think she's mad because of him, though…" Meredith added.

"I say we grab a seat, some beers, and some popcorn, because this will only get more interesting." Cristina suggested.

"You bet." Alex agreed.

"I'm so in." George nodded.

"So Mer, are you watching with us…or are we going to watch you make an appearance in the Ex-Files?" Cristina teased.

"They look vicious! God, I hope I wouldn't be dragged into this…."

"Good luck with that…." Cristina, George, and Alex said simultaneously.

XXXXXX

Addison pulled off her scrub top and sat on the bench, staring at her locker. She was tired—both physically and emotionally—from spending thirteen hours in the OR and from the never ending quarrel with her overstressed husband. Standing and operating thirteen hours straight had taken its toll on Derek and she understood, but his outrageous jealousy did not go well with her. The surgery was a success, Julia—though in a very critical condition—made it out of the OR alive with one head, the interns were giddy about the cool surgery they got to witness, and she, Derek, and Mark were left on the edge. _Today in a nutshell…._

She didn't even need t turn around to see who just walked into the locker room.

"You doubted me in the OR." Derek said gritting his teeth.

She looked up to him. "You're not angry with me because of that."

"You were flirting with him!"

Addison put her head in her hands. "I did not flirt with him! We were inside the OR for thirteen hours, did you just expect is to remain silent the whole time!" She stood up. "Seriously, Derek! I can't talk to him, while you can be 'friends' with Meredith, took her dog in, and eventually had sex with her! What is it with you!"

"You cheated on me first!"

"And you made it a mission to cheat on me to get your revenge! Thanks, Derek, how very considerate of you." She yelled sarcastically.

"You could've signed those papers and I would've gotten out of your life and you could've been with her, but no…. No, you just had to give me hope that I can make up for my mistake, that you would try to save us and forgive me one day, and that…that one day I would hear you say that you love me again…only to give me this! You screwing her and throwing Mark in my face again and again when you were pining over her all of these months!"

Their heads snapped toward the door when they noticed Mark had walked into the room.

"What are you doing here!" Derek stood in front of his shirtless wife, covering her from Mark's prying eyes. "Put your shirt on." He told her.

"For your information, this is the attending's locker room, not Derek Shepherd's locker room." Mark scoffed. "You jackass, you still don't have the slightest idea how much you've hurt her."

"Stay out of this, Mark!" She warned him as she put on her blouse.

"No, I've had enough of him being oblivious to what he's doing to you! You left her, Derek, and I'm not talking about Seattle."

"I don't need you to be an expert in my marriage!" Derek's voice rising.

"You don't even need an expert to see it, everybody, our friends and coworkers, they all saw it. You raked in those hours and you missed dinners, gatherings, parties…. Then you forgot birthdays, anniversaries, holidays…."

"That doesn't give you permission to sleep with my wife!"

"You didn't care about her! When you started to ignore her, I tried to tell you, our friends tried to tell you, _she_ tried to tell you. You didn't even fight for her after you found out!"

Derek turned to look at Addison behind him. "He's right…." She admitted.

"Are you defending him!"

"I'm not defending him or myself, damnit Derek! You weren't there when I needed you, and before you throw it in my face again, I know that it's not an excuse. I made a mistake and I apologized! And unlike you, I didn't go around rubbing it in front of you like you did your intern in front of me and this whole hospital!"

By now, Addison was sure the entire hospital must had gotten an earful of their all out screaming match already, but there was nothing to be done to stop it. _Nurse Debbie doesn't even have to go anywhere near the door to hear this…._

"Why didn't you just leave her and spare her from more hurt if you never fully intend on forgiving her, Derek?"

"You don't have the right to tell me what to do with my life or my marriage!"

"I love her! I could love her and treat her better than you did!"

"Don't you dare!"

"Ask her!

"I don't love you, Mark! How many times do I have to tell you to leave me alone!" She exclaimed.

"Don't lie, Addison, we had something!"

Derek turned to face her once again. "Were you happier when you were with him! Was he better in bed than me!"

"God damnit, this isn't about sex!" She threw her head back in exasperation.

"Tell me, Addison!" Derek clenched his jaw, his ego was on the line.

"I thought that I loved him, but I didn't, because even after all the things that have happened, my stupid heart still loves you! He's not you, Derek, he can't replace you." She looked at him, silently pleading for him to stop this fight.

Derek only smirked. "Are you saying I'm better?"

Mark rolled his eyes and Addison groaned in frustration.

"Jesus, Derek, you and your big ego!" Addison took out her skirt from the locker and took off her scrub pants, much to Derek's surprise.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" He frantically tried to shield her from Mark.

"I'm changing!" She replied nonchalantly.

"Mark is right there!" He can hear Mark's snickering.

"So…" She shrugged. "It's not like he's never seen me before." She was fed up with Derek and the argument and she didn't care anymore.

"Addison!" Derek felt his head was on the verge exploding with this rage and jealousy.

"What!" Addison glared at him.

"Get out, Mark! Get out, now!" He walked towards Mark and pushed him to the door.

"I was rather enjoying the view…." Mark protested.

Derek shoved Mark out of the door before he could enjoy the view that is Addison's bare legs any longer.

"Why did you have to do that!" Derek asked her after he locked the door.

"Because I've had enough of your childish attitude!" She yelled back while putting her skirt on. "Your jealous rage is getting ridiculous!"

"You're my wife, I get to be jealous!"

"Why are you so intimidated by him!" She turned to face him.

"I'm not intimidated by him, I'm more of a man that Mark will ever be in everyway!" He was enraged.

"Then prove it!" She was fuming.

"Don't mind if I do!"

He lunged forward to grab her waist with his left hand while his right hand closed her locker and snaked behind her neck to pull her for a kiss. He was boiling with rage, but the sight of his equally furious wife, with her skirt only halfway zipped on the side and the top buttons of her blouse undone, was too sexy for him to just stand there and do nothing about it. Forget about the glares and the shouts, for now he was tonguing his wife and she didn't oblige, if anything, the sounds she was making proved her pleasure.

Derek was too busy kissing her neck and collarbone and trying to pull her closer that he forgot about the bench behind him. When Addison pushed him backward, in her quest to get his top off, he tripped and fell on the bench, pulling her down along with him.

"Stupid bench…." She mumbled as she straddled him.

"You pushed me…." He grumbled in her ear while his fingers fumbled with the remaining buttons of her blouse.

"Boo hoo…." She pulled off his top and he tossed her blouse on the floor.

He ravished the skin down her chest with kisses until her bra denied him further access to her cleavage, but with one swift motion he sent her bra to join their shirts on the floor. She gasped and moaned against his shoulder as his hands and mouth had their way with her breasts. Derek suddenly stood up and pushed her against the locker, his tongue finding its way to hers again.

He lifted her skirt up and tugged down her underwear a little roughly. Angry he still was and Addison knew it. She pushed forward and turned him back against the locker, pressing her body to his with one of her hands roaming his chest while the other was untying the drawstring of his scrub and slipping inside his pants. Derek couldn't focus on getting her underwear all the way down with what she was doing. He slide his fingers to rub where he knew would get her, giving her a taste of her own medicine.

They groaned against each other's skin and when the rest of their clothing were on the floor, Derek pushed her to the locker across, this time he made sure to kick the bench out of the way first, and hoisted Addison up against it before he thrust into her. Between their moaning and grunting and the banging of the lockers, they were pretty sure Seattle Grace was aware of their little escapade.

XXXXXX

Izzie sat on a chair in the clinic of the women shelter and tended to Karen's bruises. Fortunately, Karen didn't require stitches or anything more serious than a cleaning up and a Betadine antiseptic. The relatively medium sized women shelter offered many programs to help the abused women and children and a clinic to treat the injuries, but Izzie had learned upon arriving that the clinic was understaffed, which is why she found herself attending to Karen instead of the clinic's only two doctors who were both occupied with other patients.

"Where do you work?" Karen inquired, Connor was still asleep on her lap.

"I used to be an intern at Seattle Grace…."

"Oh, I heard about it on the news recently. You used to…?"

"I…I just quit the surgical program." She concentrated on Karen's wounds.

"Wow, you're a surgeon…."

"Were."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry into your life." Karen said apologetically.

Izzie sighed. "It's fine, it's just that it's a long story and it just happened and…it's hard to talk about it…."

"I know…. You feel like you need someone, and yet you can't bring yourself to talk about it." Karen touched her doctor's hands. "Thank you, for bringing us here. I can't imagine what could've happened if my husband found us first."

"You're welcome. I'm glad you're safe now." She smiled. "You're done, good luck to you and Connor."

Izzie was about to leave when a volunteer peeked through the door.

"Dr. Stevens, Dr. Kendrick was wondering if you could stay and help with a couple of patients? There are a woman and two children who need treatment."

Surgical intern or not, Izzie Stevens felt an obligation to honor the oath she took when she became a doctor. "Of course, you can send them in."

XXXXXXXXXXX

A number of nurses and residents and attendings could be seen subtly hanging around the hallway of the locker room when Mark was thrown out of the room and the door behind him was slammed shut and locked. The staff threw glances at each other and went back to whatever work they were doing, which was conveniently located around the locker room where the Shepherd-Shepherd-Sloan screaming match had taken place. Nurse Debbie was indeed glad that she didn't have to go listen by the door to hear the commotion.

Mark remained outside the room for a brief moment expecting to hear more hissy fits, but what he heard instead had left him flustered. He looked around the hallway and from the expression on the staff members' faces, he was almost sure they heard the bangs and the grunts, too. Mark clenched his fists and glared at the lingering staffs before he left the area.

Mark had just turned the corner at the end of the hallway when he ran into Chief Webber and The Nazi.

"Dr. Sloan, congratulation on the great work." Richard patted him on the back.

"Thanks, but my job isn't done yet." He reminded the Chief of his second surgery.

"But it's almost done and a good one, nonetheless." Bailey remarked. "Have you seen the Shepherds, Dr. Sloan?" She asked.

"The press would like the team to say a few words, including you. If you would go down to the second floor nurse's station, the other doctors are already gathering there, we just need Addison and Derek." Richard told him.

"They're in the locker room." He said casually and made his way to the second floor.

The Chief and Bailey were within a few steps of the door and came to an abrupt stop when they heard the faint noises from inside the locker room.

"What was that…?" The Nazi glanced around the hallways, the staff members were hiding but she sure knew they were around.

"What the hell…?" The Chief took a couple of steps forward. "I'll be damned." He turned to Bailey awkwardly. "Hold of the press conference for another hour."

Bailey grimaced when she realized what was going on. "Nasty!" She yelled to the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

A satiated Derek let—an also satiated—Addison down to stand on her feet, she breathed heavily in the crook of his neck and moaned when he kissed a spot behind her ear.

"Point's proven." He gloated before gathering their clothes and tossing her hers.

"I'm still mad at you." She said while trying to smooth down her clothes and hair, her voice was still livid.

"Who said I'm not." He replied with the same intensity before they left the room.

XXXXXXX

So, I know yall are like "What! She didn't finish the surgery scene!" Well, I did that for a reason, and I'll do something where yall find out what happened. I didn't have a lot of time to go back and edit the chapter as I usually do, so again I'm feeling rather 'eh'. This is for Kayli.


	12. Seasons Change

_**Ch.12**_

_**Seasons Change**_

****_  
Don't you know that, that patience is a virtue  
And life is a waiting game, don't you know that?  
Peace must be nurtured and all the money in the world can't buy you nothing _

Hurts me to see you feel this way but it won't be always  
Don't you know everything's got to change  
Feel like all your hope is gone, you can't carry on, but there's nothing wrong  
You don't have to pretend with me

_All these things happen, all these things happen for a reason  
So don't you go and throw it all away  
You'll get yours when the seasons change  
_

XXXXXXXXX

Julia Schweider had been sedated ever since surgery to prevent convulsions and to minimize her mobility to keep the intravenous lines on her body. The concerned convulsions, internal bleeding, and clotting trouble had not presented themselves; however, excessive fluid had built up in her brain. So three days after her successful separation surgery, Julia was under anesthesia in OR 1 once again to have a shunt installed in her brain to drain the fluid and to have her skull-reconstruction to be finished.

Derek looked up when Addison entered the OR again after being called away for an emergency C-section.

"How is it going?" She asked as she stepped on a box behind him to get a better look.

"Everything is good. I'm almost done." He replied.

She watched him work for a moment before taking a seat in front of the baby's vital monitor to his right.

He glanced up at her. "How are you?"

"Okay, I guess…."

"You look tired." He said with concern.

She sighed. "I barely slept the last three days."

"You're putting work ahead of everything else."

"Look who's talking." She rolled her eyes.

"I've hardly seen you these last three days! You only came home to shower and change."

"She's in a very critical condition! Anything could go wrong at anytime and I have to keep an eye on her." Addison started to get irritated.

"Hollis and Allister can do it, too…."

"But I am the best and I'm not risking not being here if something happens." She ignored the unhappy tone in his voice. "You've been _really_ annoying lately…"

He threw her a dirty look. "I'm not…."

Before he could finish his sentence, Mark entered the OR and nodded to acknowledge the Shepherds. He stood at the end of the operating table to wait for his turn.

Addison looked to Derek and Mark. Derek looked to Mark and Addison. Mark looked to Addison and Derek. Three sighs were heard in the room. Derek went back to install the shunt. Addison focused on the monitor. Mark looked around the room absentmindedly. The few nurses and anesthesiologist shifted in the uncomfortable silence.

"I'm done." Derek announced and signaled for Mark to take over. He glanced one last time at Addison before exiting the room.

"How is she?" Mark asked her as he began.

"She's stable." She replied.

He continued to operate and occasionally stole quick looks at her.

"What?" Addison finally asked.

"Nothing."

"Just say it already."

Mark peered at the surrounding staff members in the room.

"They know everything there is already, might as well just say it, Mark." She sighed.

"I'm leaving in a few days…." When she didn't reply, he continued. "It's not too late to come back to New York with me…."

She shook her head. "Mark…."

"I'm serious, Addison. Are you sure staying in Seattle is what you want?" He paused for a second. "Are you sure you'll be happy here?"

Addison fidgeted slightly in her chair. "I don't know if I'll be happy again…." She looked up to him. "But I know that for now, I want to stay here."

"Alright then." Mark nodded. "We've missed you in New York." He referred to their friends.

"You guys don't miss Derek?" She teased.

"You're our favorite Shepherd." He winked.

"I wonder if Derek's big ego will shrink a little if I told him that…." Addison mused.

He glanced up to the gallery and saw Derek watching them.

"You can turn on the speaker and give it a try right now." He tilted his head a little towards the gallery.

"He's watching, huh? Does he look like he wants to strangle both of us?" She didn't want to turn around to make it obvious that they were talking about him.

"I can't read him…but he certainly doesn't look grumpy."

"For once in a week!" She sighed sarcastically. "Thank the Lord Almighty…."

Mark chuckled. "Only you can _and _will put up with his sorry ass…."

"Thanks Mark, that's very encouraging of you…." She rolled her eyes.

"Hey, it's not my fault you chose that one…. You could've picked my fine ass, you know…." He winked.

"Correction, your arrogant ass…." She mocked.

"You really do know how to hurt a guy's ego."

"Yeah well, I'm doing what I can to save the world from yours and Derek's humongous egos."

XXXXXXX

"Izzie?" The head of the clinic called her.

"Hi, Dr. Kendrick." She smiled at the older woman.

"May I talk to you for a moment in my office?"

"Sure." Izzie put down the chart on the counter and the two of them walked into an office.

"You've been volunteering here for a few days. What do you think of it so far?" Anna Kendrick asked when they sat down in the room.

"I've very much enjoyed it so far. It's very different than being a surgical intern, but I really like it."

"From my observation, you are very good, not only with your medical skill, but with these women and children as well. They need someone to talk to and who will listen to them, and I see that you interact very well with them."

Izzie wondered where this was going. "I'm glad that I could be a help."

"What would you say about working here at the clinic, not as a volunteer anymore, but as Dr. Stevens?"

"Seriously?" Izzie's eyes widened in disbelief. "You're offering me a job here?"

"Yes, I am. As you can see, we are short-staffed. At this clinic we need more than just a doctor, we need someone with empathy, like you. So what do you say?"

"Dr. Kendrick, I am grateful for the offer, but I'm afraid I can't give you a yes or no answer right away. I need time to think this over, if that's okay with you."

"Of course." The older woman smiled. "Let me know when you decide."

Izzie returned the smile. "Thank you."

XXXXXXX

Derek sat quietly in the gallery, thinking about the recent events now that he had the chance to unwind from the stress and the pressure, which, he noticed, had shifted to Addison. He watched as Mark laughed at something Addison had said.

He smiled when Preston Burke sat on the chair to his right. The two colleagues chatted casually about the separation surgery and Preston's therapy session until the Chief entered the gallery and sat on the empty seat to Derek's left.

"Hey, Chief." Both of them greeted their superior.

"Hey, Derek. Preston, how are you?"

"I am good, can't wait to be back when all is well."

"We can't wait to have you back here." The Chief smiled. "How's it going down there?"

"So far so good, I think she's going to come out just fine." Derek sighed. "It's just going to take a while to recover."

"How is Addison?" Preston asked.

"She's worn out, but she's Addison, she won't admit it." Derek smiled a little.

Preston chuckled. "How are things going…with him there?"

"Oh God, you don't want to know…." Richard scoffed.

"That bad?" Preston cocked one eyebrow at Derek.

"Did you not get the scoop from Yang?" Derek tried to lighten up.

"Some…. But it's more fun to hear it straight from the source."

"It's…" Derek found it hard to find the right word. "It's a rollercoaster ride."

"But all is fine right, after you know…locker room…." Richard rolled his eyes.

"I heard bout that one…." Preston nudged Derek's elbow.

"I would be surprised if anyone didn't hear that…." Richard teased.

"Fine, fine, laugh it up…." Derek paused for a moment. "I don't know what we are…"

"I thought you said you want to work on this, Derek." Preston faced him.

"I do, but it's…we're such a mess…. I don't even know how or where to begin to sort it out." Derek focused his eyes on Addison, who was talking with the anesthesiologist.

"_You cheated on me."_

"_You ignored me because of your work. I became nothing to you."_

"_You didn't become 'nothing' to me."_

"_But I wasn't everything to you…anymore."_

"It's probably just the stress of this case taking its toll on both of you, Derek. You two seemed to be doing fine before this week." Richard replied.

"We were…."

_Derek leaned to kiss her softly. He pulled back to look into her eyes, it was the first time he kissed her since prom. She smiled and he kissed her again and she kissed him back._

"_Hey…."_

"_Hmm?"_

"_I missed a spot." He kissed the tip of her nose._

_She grinned. "I'll see you later." She gave him a quick kiss before exiting the room._

"What happened then?" Preston questioned.

"He happened." Derek slightly pointed to Mark's direction.

"_You stayed with him."_

"_You left me."_

"_You didn't tell me."_

"_You never wanted to talk."_

"_Were you ever going to tell me?"_

"_Were you ever going to listen to me?"_

"Oh come on, Derek." Richard started. "Meredith happened and Addison didn't go around looking like she wanted to drag you to the guillotine. She had one outburst, and that was six months after she took in all the hard time you gave her."

Derek sighed. "I know, I know…."

"_You weren't there when I needed you…I made a mistake and I apologized! And unlike you, I didn't go around rubbing it in front of you like you did your intern in front of me and this whole hospital!"_

"I've known you since your happiest days. You still love her, don't you?" Richard asked.

"I don't think I've ever stopped loving her, but with this mess we're in, it is making it harder." He turned to Richard. "I want to love her, I really do."

"_..., because even after all the things that have happened, my stupid heart still loves you! He's not you, Derek, he can't replace you."_

Preston shrugged. "Then keep trying."

"_I am trying, Addison!" He clenched his jaw._

"_Try harder, Derek." She pleaded._

_Derek closed his eyes and her voice echoed in his mind. 'Good air in, bad air out. Try harder.'_

XXXXXXXX

Mark walked out of scrub room feeling a huge amount of satisfaction that he had completed Julia's skull reconstruction and the baby was still alive. His power walk to the elevator was interrupted as he felt someone had fallen into steps beside him.

"So…. You're the Nazi." He stated.

"So…. You're the snooty plastic surgeon former best friend turned dirty mistress." Miranda replied.

"Your interns have a shorter term for me." He tried to hide the amusement off his face. "McSteamy, I believe."

"I have a shorter term for you, too. McShady." She tried to keep a straight face when she saw his face slightly frowned.

"McShady, huh…." He pushed the button and waited for the elevator with Miranda.

"You got that right." The both entered the empty elevator and pushed the floor numbers.

"They are trying to salvage their marriage and are putting that on hold to save this baby and let you be a part of this amazing case, but you walked in here with that big ungrateful head of yours thinking you can use every little opportunity to drive that lousy husband crazy enough so you can win back the wife. If that's not shady and sleazy and sordid then I don't know what is…."

Mark was stunned. "I care about her a lot! I can't just do nothing after what he's done to her!"

Miranda put one hand on her hip. "Excuse me, does she ask you to come here to give her husband a piece of your mind!"

"I'm just looking out after her!"

"She's an adult capable of looking after herself!"

"No, she's not. You should've seen her after he left New York…." He crossed his arms.

"Excuses, excuses, excuses!" Miranda waived her hands at him.

"It's not an excuse!"

"She doesn't want you, get with the program!"

Mark let out a deep sigh and knew he wasn't going to win an argument with the Nazi. "Yeah, I know…."

"Then what the hell are you doing!"

"Do you realize how easy it is to drive the McLousy husband nuts!"

Miranda slapped the back of his head.

"Ow, what was that for!" Mark protested.

"Though I'll admit that I'm a little bit pleased that you gave McMoron some of the ass kicking he deserves, that doesn't mean you can work him out for the heck of it! Let those two crazy kids deal with it themselves, you stay out of it!"

When Mark didn't make any reply, Bailey lifted her hand again.

"Alright, alright, I'll stay out of it…." Mark sulked.

"Good."

"I really care about her, though." He looked down at the floor. "I'm just making sure this is what will make her happy."

"She'll be happy if you're not here meddling with her marriage." Miranda shot him a pointed look as if she was expecting for him to say something back.

Mark glanced at her. "You're right…." He begrudgingly admitted.

"I'm always right." Miranda walked out of the elevator but right before the door closed, she slipped a hand between it.

"And you stay away from my interns!" She glared.

"Yes, Mam."

XXXXXXXX

Julia had been stable and sedated after the surgery, but she continued to be in a very critical condition. Addison was not going to risk being too late to the rescue if something were to happen, hence, another night in the on-call room after another long day. As her head hit the pillow, the image of that crucial moment in OR 1 three days ago came to her mind.

"_Try harder, Derek." She pleaded._

_Derek closed his eyes briefly._

"_Hand me the surgicel!" He requested when he opened his eyes._

_The rest of the surgeons looked at each other with a slight uncertainty. _

"_Hand me the surgicel!" He looked at her and she gave him what he asked for. _

_Derek proceeded to improvise with the surgicel, a dissolvable surgical gauze, and reinforced the thin wall of the Venus Sinus with it. _

"_It stopped…." She uttered, releasing the breath she had been holding._

_A series of relieved sighs were heard in the OR and in the gallery when the bleeding stopped. Julia's heart rate and blood pressure slowly but surely climbed back up, and an hour later, she was out of OR 1 alive with on head just like any other normal baby._

Addison curled up on the bottom bunk wishing Derek was with her, she'd missed him this past week. She thought about what the next day would hold for her. It would be their first day off since The Schweiders' arrival, and ten in the morning would be the appointment to see the house on Atlas Dr. Addison wondered as she fell asleep, if she would be picking a house for her and her husband, or just for her.

XXXXXXX

The song is by Corinne Bailey Rae.

So…Mark is getting the picture, methinks. I love Bailey, that is all.


	13. I'm Yours

_**Ch.13**_

_**I'm Yours**_

_I fell right through the cracks_

_And I'm tryin to get back before the cool done run out _

_I'll be givin it my best test and nothin's gonna stop me but divine intervention _

_I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some _

_I won't hesitate no more, no more, it cannot wait I'm yours _

_Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love_

_It's your God forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved _

_So I won't hesitate no more, no more, it cannot wait I'm sure _

_There's no need to complicate, our time is short _

_this is our fate, I'm yours _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The attending lounge was empty, and Derek sat quietly staring at his cup of coffee. He hadn't seen Addison since yesterday; in fact, he hadn't seen much of her the last several days. The house appointment was at 10 in the morning and his watch showed that it was 9:05. Derek looked up when a newspaper was tossed on the small table.

"Morning." Mark greeted before slumping on the chair across from him. He looked tired.

"Morning." Derek replied. "Long night?"

"Yeah." Mark eyed him. "You?"

"Can't sleep."

"Sorry about that."

"Sorry about you, too."

Mark grabbed a pen from his pocket and drew fourteen dashes on the side of the newspaper.

"Fourteen letters." Mark said as he got up to pour himself a cup of coffee.

Derek eyed the paper with a puzzled look. They used to play this game to pass time in the hospital when they were best friends.

"E" He said when Mark returned to his seat.

"One E." He wrote the letter on the second dash.

Derek dragged the newspaper toward him. "A." He pushed it back to Mark.

"Two A's." He wrote down the letters and looked up at Derek. "I think Addison was looking for you."

"You think?" Derek frowned at the paper. "Y."

"No Y." Mark drew a vertical line on another empty spot of the newspaper. "She was watching the nurse writing down the morning surgeries on the board."

"Oh." Derek tried to be casual. "I."

"One."

"O."

Mark scribbled down the two O's. "I asked Addison to come back to New York with me…twice."

Derek's head snapped up and Mark continued.

"I asked her when I first came, and yesterday, but…."

"What the hell is wrong with you! You're supposed to be my bestfriend! You're not supposed to sleep with my wife, you're not supposed to take her from me, you're not supposed to destroy my marriage!"

"I'm not the sole reason your marriage fell apart!"

Derek rose from his seat. "How am I suppose to make this right if you're here coaxing her to go back with you!"

Mark stood up. "I wouldn't ask her to come back to New York if I know that you're being the husband you're supposed to be!"

Derek lunged forward but Mark reacted faster and Derek found himself on the ground.

"I never set out to hurt you." Mark watched his former bestfriend struggled to get up. "I'm not saying this because I want to hurt you, I fell in love with her and it doesn't go away just because she decided to stay with you."

Derek sat up and leaned back on the vending machine. "She decided to stay with me, not you…"

"If you would've listened, you would've heard that I said that I know she only loves you. I'm ready to let her go because I know I'm not the one she wants. I could've saved you that punch."

Derek got back on his feet and Mark continued. "The day I first set foot in Seattle, you lashed out at her and she stayed. You slept with Meredith and she still stayed with you. She doesn't want to go to New York with me. Do you get that, Derek? She's not going anywhere if there is a slightest chance that you want her."

Mark studied Derek's reddened face and heavy breathing and waited for him to say something.

"The word is 'Retinoblastoma'." Derek retorted as he brushed shoulders with Mark and walked out of the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Addison strode down the hall towards the locker room, staring absentmindedly at the tiles. Her pace was timed and tentative as if she dreaded having to get ready and leave the hospital to see the house. She had not seen Derek since yesterday, but the fact that his name wasn't on the board for any of the morning surgeries gave her some hope that he might be waiting for her at a house on Atlas Dr.

"Addison?"

She jumped at the voice. "Richard…."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He walked beside her.

"Don't worry about it. How are you?"

"I should be asking you that."

Addison slightly frowned. "I'm fine."

"Liar. You're exhausted and you know it."

"What do you want me to do? Sleep at home with my grouchy husband while Julia Schweider is fighting for her life?"

"The baby has been fine…."

"Anything can still go wrong at anytime."

"There are two other very capable doctors."

Addison gave him a look.

Richard rolled his eyes. "I know, I know. They're not you and they're not the best, but they are still highly capable, Addison."

"I know that…." She said softly.

"But…?"

"We've come this far, Richard. If something happens and I'm not here and we lose her…." They rounded the corner and Addison came into a halt. "Then this is all for nothing…."

"Even if that happens, it won't be for nothing. Derek separated her and you kept her alive until now, it's already something. You tried. You did the best you can. "

Richard searched for her eyes when she looked away.

"You can't carry all the responsibilities on your shoulder, Addie. Let the others do their parts." She looked down and he took hold of her hand. "Her condition is very critical but she's been stable. In a case like this, it's a waiting game and it's out of our hands, you know that."

"She has hope…."

"I know what this means to you."

Addison looked up. "It's the biggest case in our career, of course it means…."

"It goes beyond that." He stated. "Is that why you're so adamant on holding onto this?"

"How I can let it go when we're so close?"

"Sometimes there is no other way than to let go, Addie…"

"Don't get too attached." Addison let out a dry laugh. "That's the number one lesson you taught me."

"It'll be easier when things slip out of our hands."

She sadly smiled. "If it makes you feel better, I'm off this weekend. Grouchy Derek, too."

"I think he's grouchy because he misses you." Richard chuckled. "No one can compete with you."

"I'm not so sure, Richard." Addison looked away for a moment.

"In your case, it may be out of your hands at this point." He sighed. "But I don't think Derek is ready to let it get out of his."

"We'll find out soon enough..."

"Whatever the outcome, it's not for nothing, Addison. You tried your best."

She nodded. "I have to go. Bye, Richard."

"Bye, Addison."

XXXXXXXXXX

"Seriously…" A look of amusement on Finn's face. "She showed up and strutted to you and Derek like that…."

"Yep." Meredith nodded. "All leggy and fabulous, all in black and four inch Prada heels. Isabella freaking Rossellini meets Wicked Witch of the East…."

"You must have hated her…."

"I tried, but she's hard to hate. She's painfully smart and annoyingly kind and she saved Cristina's life…." Meredith explained while chewing on her breakfast.

"And Derek couldn't sign the papers…." He dipped a piece of waffle in the maple syrup.

"He called her Satan and adulterous bitch and said all these things about wanting the divorce…." She wiped her mouth with a napkin. "But when she gave him the papers, he couldn't do it."

"She's his wife, his family for over than eleven years." He turned to her.

She furrowed her brows. "That's exactly what he said…."

"It's probably hard for you to understand, but when you've loved someone for that long, you don't know how to stop." Finn sighed. "You'll learn to let go, only when you're ready…."

They remained silence for a minute.

"Do you miss her?" She asked softly.

"I do…." He watched the passerby in front of the waffle shop. "But I've learned to let go…though not completely."

"I don't think you will ever completely erase someone like that from your life."

"Yeah, I don't think so either, but I've moved on." He glanced at her. "Are you ready to let go of him?"

"I think I already did." She smiled.

"That's good." He smiled back. "So, what happened on the next episode of the Ex-Files?"

Meredith laughed. "He-Shepherd made She-Shepherd live in a trailer, I got…"

"They've been living in the trailer!"

"Mmm hmm..." Meredith laughed. "We're all a bunch of scary and damaged people, we sure made one hell of a drama…."

"That you did…" Finn joined in laughter.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Good morning, you must be Dr. Shepherd. I'm Beverly Gleeson, you can call me Beverly, and I'll be showing you the house today." The younger woman introduced herself when Addison entered the front door.

"Hi, I'm Addison." She shook Beverly's hand. "I'm sorry I'm late."

"It's all right." Beverly smiled. "Is your husband joining us this morning? We can wait until he gets here." She offered.

Addison took a look at her watch. It was 10:09 am. "He's not. It seems like his surgery ran longer than expected." She lied and tried to form a smile.

"That's unfortunate, shall we get started then?"

"Yes, we shall."

"Alright, let's begin with the living room." Beverly walked further inside the house.

Addison felt her feet unable to follow Beverly. Instead, she stared through the window, expecting a familiar figure to walk on that front path toward the door.

"I'm sorry if I was too quick, Dr. Shepherd." Beverly came back to the foyer. "I didn't realize you were still here."

A startled Addison turned away from the window. "Oh, it's not your fault. I need to check on my phone for a minute." She smiled awkwardly. "I'll meet you in the living room, if that's okay."

"Of course." Beverly gave an assuring nod and left Addison alone.

Addison took out her cell phone. There were no messages and no missed calls. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. _He's not coming. This house is too big for one person…. _She was about to walk toward the direction Beverly had disappeared into when the front door opened.

"Hey." He smiled.

"Hey." She smiled.

"Sorry, I'm late."

"I was late, too."

"Where is the realtor?"

"She's in the living room. I told her I'll come inside in a minute." She was a mix of surprised and relieved. "You show."

Derek took her hand and led her inside the house. "Well, I don't want you to pick a house with a pink master bedroom."

He grinned and she playfully slapped his arm.

"Derek, what happened to your face?" She stood in front of him, studying the discolored mark on his left cheek.

"It's nothing." However, he winced as his left hand lightly touched the bruise.

It was then that she noticed the platinum band on his ring finger.

"You're wearing your ring…." She smiled as she held his left hand in her palm.

"I am." He caressed the side of her face with his thumb. "The vows say 'till death do us part' and I promised you that." He whispered before giving her a kiss.

"I missed you." He kissed her forehead when they pulled back.

"I missed you, too." She kissed his nose.

"We'll talk later, okay?" He put an arm around her waist. "Let's go and see if this is the one for our house."

XXXXXXXX

I called this sucky chapter 13, because it took forever to write this and everything just didn't come out right. Anyway, Mark punched Derek, ouwie, but oh well shrugs. And I heart Richard and Addie's conversation, I like the parallel between the case and the marriage. And Derek showed up at the house, albeit late, and they toured the house happy dance.

Oh, btw, the story is ending soon. Soon as in next chapter soon. So read and review and make me feel better about this sucky 13. A non-depressed me is good for writing happy cute cuddly kissing Addek for the ending, a.k.a. next chapter.


	14. Time

_**Ch.14  
Time**_

_I should've known better  
I shouldn't have wasted those days  
And afternoons and mornings  
I threw them all away_

_Now, this is my time  
And I'm gonna make this moment mine  
I shouldn't have wasted those days  
I'll take what you give me  
Please know that I'm learning  
I've looked in the mirror  
My world's getting clearer  
So wait for me  
This time  
_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"That was great…." Meredith mused as she entered the scrub room from the OR.

Derek scrubbed out and smiled a little. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." She turned on the water.

"Good."

"You?"

"I'm doing much better than last week."

"Good."

"Hey," he paused, "I'm sorry that I got upset at you during Julia's surgery. That was uncalled for."

"Mark really worked you up, didn't he?" she teased.

"Yep, he's rather a pro at that. But I was over reacting, so," he reached for the paper towel, "I'm sorry."

"Okay."

"By the way, those cupcakes were really good."

"Seriously?" she dried off her hands, "I was worried I'd get blacklisted from the case if they turned out bad."

Derek crossed his arms and sat on the edge of the sink. "Even if they were, you made up with the waffle. It was delicious."

"Izzie and Finn told me the waffle would score points." she chuckled.

"You and Finn…You're still….?" He fumbled to find he words.

"We're friends. I mean _really_ friends," she emphasized, "I'll run into him sometimes at the waffle shop and we'll chat."

A couple of nurses cast curious glances at the pair as they exited the scrub room together.

"I'm sorry about everything," Derek whispered.

"It's in the past, everything's changed now. I'm okay. You and Addison are okay," she raised a brow, "well, I hope you and Addison are okay…."

"Everybody knows, huh…"

"Please, who didn't notice the cold war last week…."

He laughed, "We're fine now, and I'm sure Addie is thanking all the gods I stopped being an ass."

"I'm sure Chief is thanking the gods there was no Shepherds-Sloan bloodshed."

"Yeah, but Mark pun…." Derek stopped mid-sentence when he saw his wife and Mark Sloan just rounded the corner several feet away from them.

Meredith watched as Derek stared at the approaching duo. Addison and Mark were engaged in a lighthearted conversation and didn't notice them in the middle of the hallway.

Derek turned to her and smiled. "I'll see you around, Meredith."

She nodded, taken aback that Derek didn't get upset at the sight. "I'll tell Izzie to bake Addison some more of those cupcakes. She bakes better than I do."

"I'll let Addison know. Thanks." He gave one last smile and went to Mark and Addison.

XXXXXXXXX

Cristina Yang felt awkwardness crept in when Callie Torres joined her in the elevator—an elevator without anyone but the two of them.

They gave each other a nod of acknowledgement. Callie pushed the button and stood next to Cristina.

Cristina glanced sideways, skimming Callie from head to toe. Three seconds later, Callie glanced sideways, skimming Cristina from head to toe. Awkward indeed.

"So, you're Cristina." Callie stated.

"And you're Callie." Cristina replied.

"How is Dr. Burke doing?" She looked up at the floor indicator and willed it to change.

"He's doing well."

"Glad to hear that."

"How is Geor.… I mean, how are you and George?" She stared at the door and willing it to open.

"We're doing well."

"Glad to hear that."

The two smiled uncomfortably at each other.

XXXXXXXXX

"You look good on a Monday." Mark noted as he caught up with Addison.

"You punched my husband on Saturday." She said pointedly.

"Was it bad?" He asked sheepishly.

Addison shot him a look. "It didn't require stitches, but he sported a swelling purple bruise on his left cheek all weekend."

Mark cringed, "Are you going to hit me back?"

"I would if I don't have surgeries for the rest the day," she shrugged, "plus, I'm in a good mood."

"Seriously? Derek didn't go all McPissy over the weekend?" He asked quizzically.

"McPissy?"

"From Bailey…" He admitted.

"You've been here too long." Addison shook her head.

"Yeah, yeah, I know you want me out of here." He said half joking and half stating the fact. "You got your wish, I'm leaving after lunch."

Addison paused for a second. "You are?"

"I am. I came here for work and my work is done. There is nothing left for me to do here."

"Right…."

"I'm sorry that I was a jackass before." His voice softened.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you."

"You think he's going to be good to you this time?"

She nodded, "We'll be fine. He showed up at the open house on Saturday."

"Really, finally out of that little love shack?" he laughed. "I really considered calling the Queer guys as soon as I get to New York."

"Hey, I could still use the Queer guys," she giggled. "God knows how long it'll take before Derek and I can agree on a house and move out of the trailer."

"Hey."

Mark and Addison were stunned to see Derek standing there with no glare and no sour face. He simply wore a smile.

"What were you talking about?" Derek broke the silence.

"Mark said he's going to email the Queer guys to fix the trailer," Addison grinned, "and your wardrobe. The flannel has got to go."

"Anything I can do to prettify your wardrobe, Derek" Mark poked fun.

"Hey, now." Derek laughed anyway.

"I'm leaving today," Mark began when the laughter had calmed down, "and I want to say thank you to you both for letting me be a part of the team."

"We didn't have any other choice," Derek said sincerely.

"You're the best," Addison added.

"I'm sorry about the punch," he gestured to the faded bruise on Derek's cheek, "among other things."

Derek nodded, "I'm sorry I was a jerk to you, too."

"Well, I have to go take care of things before I leave. Good luck on the house and everything." With a smile Mark stepped aside and walked down the hallway.

"Hey, Mark?" Addison called out.

He turned around.

"Thank you," she smiled.

Mark gave them a small wave. "Bye."

Addison kissed Derek's cheek when she felt his arm slipped around her waist.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" She whispered.

He kissed her temple. "That actually felt good."

"Yeah."

"Did you order lunch?"

"Yeah, we'll go pick it up in a bit."

XXXXXXX

Meredith looked between Callie and Cristina when the elevator door opened on the third floor.

"Praise Jesus!" Cristina silently mouthed to her bestfriend.

"Callie, Cristina." Meredith greeted and stood in the middle of the two women.

"Where have you been? You were supposed to meet me up there."

"I was talking to Derek."

"You what!" Cristina held a hand on one hip. Callie gave Meredith an appalled look.

"It's not what you think." She shook her head. "We just say 'Hi, How are you' and catch up and that's it. No McDreamy looks, no flirtings. We're past that."

"Seriously?" Cristina and Callie asked skeptically. All of them were startled at the synchronized reply.

"Seriously," Meredith chuckled.

"Good." Cristina and Callie gaped at each other again after their simultaneous answers.

Meredith watched the two with such amusement on her face. "Callie, would you like to join us for lunch?"

"Seriously?" The resident was baffled by the invitation.

Cristina nudged Meredith and shot her a what-do-you-think-you're-doing look and Meredith shot her a shut-up-I-know-what-I'm-doing look in return.

"Izzie's coming for a visit, so I just thought it would be great to have all of us on one table," Meredith explained.

"I'd like that," Callie smiled, "thank you."

Meredith returned the smile. "You're welcome."

Cristina simply rolled her eyes.

XXXXXXX

"Izzie!" George called out when he saw her.

Izzie made her way to the table, receiving a few stares from the nosy nurses and staff.

"Hey," she greeted when she sat down. A series of 'Hey, Iz' followed.

"How are you?" Alex asked with a concern tone in his voice.

"I'm okay," she smiled.

"Meredith said you have a new job," Cristina inquired.

"I do, I've been working at the clinic at the women center for a few days now."

"Do you like it?" Callie asked.

"It's different than being a surgical intern, but I like it. Before, if I talk too much to a patient, I was getting too attached," she sighed, "but now, my patients need someone the can talk to. I talk and listen to them, and I enjoy it."

George munched on his sandwich. "Hey, did you find Addison yet?"

"Yeah, she said she'll help me after lunch." Izzie replied and took some of Meredith's chips.

"What for?" Cristina playfully slapped Alex's hand when he tried to steal her M & M's.

"I just have a few questions about the two babies we have at the clinic." Izzie eyed her friends for a moment. "What's the scoop on the Ex-File?"

"Did you see that bruise on He-Shepherd's face?" Callie started off.

"He's got a bruise!" Izzie tried to lower her voice.

"It's not that obvious, but you can kind of see it," George explained. "Do you think it's from Addison or Sloan?"

"Addison." Callie piped in.

"Nah, Sloan." Cristina voiced her opinion.

"I wouldn't be surprised if they both hit him." Alex smirked.

"It's Sloan," Meredith cleared up, "I was talking to Derek and I'm pretty sure he was going to tell me Mark punched him."

Izzie's forehead wrinkled. "You're almost sure?"

"He stopped talking when he saw Addison and Mark down the hall."

A series of 'ooo' were heard.

"He didn't get mad though, he smiled and walked up to them," Meredith can see the surprised looks on her friends' faces. "It was very Twilight Zone…."

"Shepherd's all nice because Sloan is leaving today." Alex informed the group.

"_Or_ they've worked things out and they're fine." Izzie scoffed at Alex.

"I think Izzie might be right," Meredith tilted her head toward the door, "look at them. They look…."

The group subtly turned their heads toward the Shepherds, who just came outside to the lunch area smiling.

"Happy," Izzie finished Meredith's sentence.

Addison giggled at something Derek whispered in her ear, two chocolate puddings and plastic spoons in her hands.

"Cute," George mentioned.

Derek slightly walked behind Addison with his left hand resting protectively to the side of her stomach, a platinum band visible on his ring finger.

"Cuddly, too," Cristina whispered to the table.

When Addison turned her head back a little to say something to Derek, he grinned and kissed her softly.

"And kissing…." Alex stated the obvious.

"Happy cute cuddly kissing Addison and Derek…." Callie muttered in disbelief.

"Yeah," Meredith agreed.

"You're okay, Mer?" Asked Cristina.

Meredith nodded. "There is no reason for me not to be."

"This is all so weird…." George trailed his words.

"Seriously…." The rest of the doctors said in unison.

XXXXXXX

Derek and Addison joined Miranda's table.

"Finally decided to join us, I see," Miranda greeted.

"Just for a little bit," Derek replied.

"Shepherds, your newfound marital bliss is apparently scaring my staff." Richard teased, looking around at the people around them, who tried to look occupied with their lunch when the Chief of Surgery caught them staring.

Addison blushed. "They've been staring…."

"Like we're ghosts…." Derek scanned the other tables around them.

"Do you expect them to congratulate and wish you good luck!" Miranda brandished her fork at him.

"Well," Derek scooped a spoon of the pudding and ate it, "that would be creepy…."

"You know, people are going to scrutinize you even more than they already do," Richard warned.

"We know," Addison replied as she looked up from her pudding.

"They'll be waiting for the next fight," Miranda sighed, "how long it'll take before you cause another drama."

Derek locked his eyes with Addison briefly before speaking. "We're Derek and Addison, of course we'll fight…"

"Yeah, you will…" Richard interjected and rolled his eyes.

"But we'll manage, we'll make up." Derek continued.

"I don't want to hear any on-call room or locker room or whatever room story about you two from any staff, you hear me! Not in my hospital!" Richard shot them a look.

"I second that!" Miranda followed suit.

Both Shepherds shrunk in their seats in embarrassment, but Addison burst into laughter and soon the rest of the table joined her.

"We'll keep that in mind." Derek said while laughing.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A box of Chinese food and chopsticks were set neatly next to Derek on the bench.

"Addie!" He called out to the red head standing five feet in front of him, slightly bent down, and looking into a viewfinder.

Addison didn't look up. Instead, she held her hand back towards him. "Can I have one more quarter?"

"I know you have a thing for views, but," he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and kissed her neck, "I am starving and we have a perfectly good seafood lo mien for lunch."

She leaned back in his arms and put her hands on top of his. They stayed like that for a moment, enjoying the nice weather and the view of ferry boats and the skyline on the other side of the water.

"I have something to show you. I didn't bring it, but I want to tell you about it now." He spoke softly.

"What is it?"

"I have some information on several couple therapists in my locker." He tightened his arms around her. "I think we should give marriage counseling another try."

She entwined her fingers with his. "Really?"

"Yes," he buried his face in her hair, "I did some research, and we just need to pick on who we want. I'll show you the files later."

"Are you sure you want to do it?" Addison turned around in his arms with a grateful smile on her face.

"I told you on Saturday that I'm ready to commit to us," he tucked in a strand of hair behind her ear, "and I'm going to prove it to you this time. This is it, Addie."

"Baby, you're going to make me cry again," she said in jest.

Derek laughed a little and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

"Can we eat now?" He pleaded when they broke from the kiss.

She lightly ruffled his hair and Derek took her hand and led her to the bench.

"Mmm…." Addison took one more shrimp, "this is really good…"

"Burke told me about that little Chinese place."

They shared a box of seafood lo mien for lunch and spent the time talking and laughing about the news the heard from their family and friends. When they were finished, Derek wiped Addison's mouth with a napkin before she could object.

"Derek, can I ask you a question?" She asked when he came back from putting away the trash.

He put an arm around her shoulder. "Sure, Babe."

"What…where…." She looked down, staring at the rings on her hand.

"What did I do with my ring when I didn't have it on?" He whispered.

"Yeah," she avoided meeting his eyes, "where was it?"

He stared to the boats crossing the water. "I kept it in my wallet."

"You had it with you all this time?"

"Yeah, I had with me all this time."

"I was so sure you've thrown it away."

"I tried," he sighed, "that night, on the way here, on the ferry boat. I tried to throw it away, but I couldn't. Every time I tried, I saw our wedding day." He put a hand under her chin and turned her face to him. "I saw you and me, I saw everything about our wedding day, and I couldn't throw the ring away."

She rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm glad you didn't."

He kissed the top of her head. "I'm glad you fought for us, even when I didn't."

"You are now."

"We both are."

XXXXXXXXXXX

The end.

Yes, it's over.

Meredith and Finn are friends, _really_ friends, for now that is. Maybe they'll take the next step later who knows…. Izzie is working at the clinic, which she likes. Mark peacefully goes home to New York, and I hope the Queer Eyes guys really come to Seattle to prettify that trailer. Can you imagine them taking Derek out for a new wardrobe and teaching him how to use facial products! Mwaahahaa, that would be graaaand….

Derek and Addison are going to couple therapy and they'll work things out and they'll be fine and they'll be all happy and cute and cuddly and kissing Addison and Derek. Hopefully with a side of FHB, but I don't know about that because I'm not writing a "Derek and Addison go to therapy and house hunting and have a baby" story.

BIG THANKS to the Addek chatters on MSN who have given me ideas, suggestions, requests, supports, and input, who have yelled at me to write and update when I was procrastinating, who have listened to my rants and rambling about these crazy characters, who have been willing to beta the chapters (there are many of you). I love yall!

THANK YOU to all of you who have read the story and told me that you like it (or not) in your reviews. I know this is the last chapter, but please still review and tell me what you think and make me all happy. :D

Toodle, peeps!


	15. Epilogue

_**Epilogue**_

_**Life is Wonderful**_

_It takes a thought to make a word  
And it takes some words to make an action  
And it takes some work to make it work  
It takes some good to make it hurt  
It takes some bad for satisfaction_

_And it takes no time to fall in love  
But it takes you years to know what love is  
And it takes some fears to make you trust  
It takes those tears to make it rust  
It takes the dust to have it polished, yea_

_Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful  
Ha la la la la la la life goes full circle  
Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful  
Ha la la la la la la life is meaningful  
Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful_

XXXX

Two bodies laid still in slumber under the warm comforter. He was on his back with her body snuggled to his side. Their feet were tangled with each other's. One of his arms covered her arm that was draped across his abdomen. His other arm was across her back, his hand placed low on her hip. His head rested on top of hers, which fit perfectly in the nook between his neck and shoulder, her red mane sprawled messily in all direction.

The ruffling of the sheets were heard as the two figures shifted when an unwelcome ring of the phone interrupted the quiet morning. He mumbled something in his sleep and turned on his side, sliding her on her back and reversing their position.

"Get the phone..." she tapped on his arm that was now on top of her stomach.

"It'll stop..." he grumbled and buried his head in her hair.

"Derek..."

"Addie..."

"Ugh..." she reached over his body to get the cell phone on his nightstand.

"Hang up, Addison," he sleepily instructed as he kissed behind her ear and under her jaw when she laid back down on the bed.

"Hello?" she answered groggily.

Derek pulled her closer and trailed kisses down her neck and bare shoulder. "Hang up, hang up, hang up," he whispered.

"Hi, Mom," she gave him a look.

He groaned and leaned back on the pillows, "It's 7: 28..."

Addison ignored him and continued talking, "Yeah, 5 bedrooms and 3.5 baths. We're turning one room downstairs into an office."

"Derek," she put the phone down on her shoulder and slapped his roaming hand, "I'm talking to your mom!"

"Tell her to call back later," he pouted.

"Yes, he's awake," she resumed the conversation and twirled his hair with her fingers, "Here..."

He reluctantly took the cell phone, "Morning, Mother..."

Addison slipped out of the covers.

He put the phone down, "Addie, get back in bed!"

No reply from Addison.

"Please..." he pleaded.

Still no reply.

He groaned in frustration when he saw her nude form made its way to dresser and slipped on red underwear and his flannel shirt. Addison only grinned and winked before disappearing out of their bedroom.

He put the phone back up when he heard his mom demanded an answer. "No, no counseling today and no work until later, so thanks for the morning call, Mom," he replied sarcastically.

"Yes...yes...no..." He got out of the bed and scrambled for something to wear, "Can I call you back later?"

"I love you, too. Bye," he tossed the phone and went to find his wife.

Derek followed the faint sound of the TV downstairs. They moved into their new home a week ago and the house was still bare, except for the beds in the master and guest bedrooms. He found Addison sitting cross-legged in the living room amongst the boxes that were waiting to be unpacked once the rest of the furniture arrived within the next several days. She was watching the Today Show on the TV, which was set on the floor, and eating Fruit Loops out of the box with a glass of chocolate milk in front of her.

He sat behind her and she leaned back in his arms. "That wasn't very nice of you," he planted a loud kiss on her cheek, "To leave me like that."

She giggled and fed him a couple fruit loops. "What did Mom say?"

"When's the furniture going to be here, how's work, how we're doing, yadda, yadda, yadda..."

"When are she and Dad coming?"

"Next month," he put his chin on her shoulder, "I miss this."

"I do, too," she thought back on the days in New York where they would lazily spend some mornings on the couch watching the Today Show and eating cereals out of the box. "Katie Couric left the show..."

"Aw, we like her…."

"Yeah..."

"You miss New York."

"I do," she tilted her head to him, "Do you?"

"More than I thought I would."

"It was our home for fifteen years."

"It was a good home," one of his hand started rubbing her inner thigh, "Do you like it here?"

"More than I thought I would," she put her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

"We'll make another good home here," he brought his face down to hers and kissed her slowly. She opened her mouth when she felt his tongue working its way to find hers.

"Baby?" His hand on her thigh had moved slightly below the material of her underwear.

"Hmm?"

"You're wearing flannel," his other hand slipped under the shirt, making some abstract figures on her stomach, "My flannel…."

She grinned in the kiss, "So?"

"You mock my flannel shirt," he recaptured her mouth.

"I don't like you...wearing flannel shirt..." she whispered seductively in between kisses and turned around to face him, her legs now wrapped around his waist, "In public."

"You look hot in flannel shirt, but," one of his hand pushed the cereal box and the glass of chocolate milk as far away he could, "I like you better without it—or anything for that matter."

"I like the flannel shirt," she giggled, "It's very comfy."

"I don't care, I'm taking it off..." He deepened the kiss and his fingers fumbled to unbutton her shirt. "Now..."

"A little impatient, aren't you, Dr. Shepherd?" Her fingers ran through his sides and back, pulling his shirt off in the process.

"Says the person who just ripped off my shirt." He shrugged the flannel shirt off of her and leaned his body forward.

"Ow..." Addison yelped as her head hit a box when Derek carelessly lowered her to the floor.

"I'm so sorry," he massaged her scalp, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she burst into laughter at his worried face, "Now shut up and kiss me."

He grinned, "As you wish, honey."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Do you have any question?" Addison asked the Schweiders, who appeared to be overwhelmed by the amount of medicines for their daughter.

"It's all written on this, right?" Vanessa held up a piece of paper with typed instructions on how to administer the medicines to Julia.

"Yes. Do you want me to go over it one more time with you?"

Daniel and Vanessa nodded and Addison explained thoroughly how and when and how much the ten drugs should be given. The Schweiders have relocated to Seattle in order to keep the Shepherds and Seattle Grace's Pediatrics to monitor Julia's development. Her recovery had taken a while, but it was steady and she was well on her way to have a normal and healthy childhood. Eleven weeks after her successful separation surgery, Julia Schweider was finally ready to be discharged from the hospital.

"Look who's ready to go home!" Derek cradled a 6 months old Julia in his arms when he entered the conference room.

"Hey," Addison greeted with a smile, "We're almost ready."

The Schweiders put up the medicines in a container and got the rest of their things ready. Addison signed the discharge papers and Derek handed Julia to her when it was his turn to sign the papers.

"Aw, she's going to miss you guys," Vanessa remarked.

"It'll be weird not seeing her everyday," Addison cooed at the gurgling baby, "She's a favorite in the PICU."

"We'll sure to take her to see you and the nurses there after check-up," Daniel promised.

The four adults turned towards the door when George knocked on the door. "The press is waiting," he informed.

"We'll be right out," Derek replied and Addison handed Julia to Vanessa.

"We want to say thank you again, to you both, for everything." Daniel spoke before they left the room.

"There is not enough thank you we could say," Vanessa added, "You saved our family."

"It was a pleasure," Addison smiled at the couple before looking at Derek, "It meant a lot to us, too."

"We thank you," Derek nodded, "For trusting us."

Daniel shook both of their hands, "We'll see you in two weeks for check-up."

"Don't hesitate to call if you have any questions," Addison reminded Vanessa.

After a brief comments and pictures with the press in the lobby, Derek and Addison watched as The Schweiders got in their car and drove on home.

"Can you believe it?" Addison slung an arm around his back as they walked to the elevator, "She went home alive..."

"It's amazing..." he pulled her to him as the elevator closed. "Hey, Addie?" his arms circled her waist.

"Yeah, Derek?" she inched their faces closer.

"We're okay, right?"

"Yeah, we're okay."

They gazed into each other's eyes and smiled for a moment before she closed the gap with a kiss.

"More than okay," she breathlessly whispered before Derek leaned in for another kiss.

"Ow..." Derek gaped when he realized the elevator had opened, allowing the Nazi to step in and hit him in the head.

"I have to start reporting you," Derek teasingly warned, his arms were still wrapped around Addison, "This is bordering on abuse."

"Uh huh," Miranda glared at the two, "And I have to report you for ruining my eyesight."

Addison tried to suppress her laughter while Derek tried to find some smart ass comments to retort back. He couldn't find any.

"Get out, you love fools!" Miranda demanded but she couldn't help but slightly smiled at the couple. "Get a room!"

Derek smirked and Addison blushed at the comment.

"And keep the voices down!" she shot them her Nazi glare as they scurried out of the elevator.

"We should do what Bailey said," Derek nudged his wife, "Let's get a room."

"Very funny," Addison rolled her eyes, "I have a Necrotizing enterocolitis to get ready for. I'll take a rain check, though," she winked.

"Now we're talking," he grinned, "I'll be watching in the gallery."

"Okay," she pecked on his lips, "I'll see you later."

He pulled her back to him when she pulled away. "I love you," he kissed her properly.

"I love you, too."

Derek laughed when she gave him a playful slap on his butt. He flashed her a silly grin as she turned to make her way to pre-op.

XXXXXXXXXX

So yes, I wrote an epilogue. It was planned all along, I just didn't say I was going to write it. I hope you like it. Mama Shepherd called in the morning, I laughed when that happened, poor Derek. Then, he accidentally hit Addison's head on a box, smoooooth... Nonetheless, they were happy cute cuddly kissing Addek, and maybe they made the side of fhb there, I don't know. Julia Schweider is alive and goes home, just as their marriage has survived and recovering, all is nice, people.

Toodles!


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